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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26506738">More Than Survive</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PJTL156/pseuds/darkinsidehim'>darkinsidehim (PJTL156)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Youtubers, markiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Be More Chill - Freeform, Blood, M/M, Markiplier Manor, Mentions of Suicide, this gets pretty f-ed up</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:32:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,235</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26506738</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PJTL156/pseuds/darkinsidehim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Life isn't easy for Eric. No one ever wants to hang out with the nervous man, and there's no way his crush feels the same way about him. Eric is desperate, so when Google offers him a pill that could change everything, he takes it. His new SQUIP could be either the best or worst decision of his life. Magic. Be More Chill AU. (You don't have to know anything about BMC to read this, by the way.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bingiplier/Googleplier, Darkiplier/Wilford Warfstache, Eric Derekson/Captain Magnum</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This one is gonna get messed up, so here's a warning now. Tags will be updated as they need to be. It's not rated E for the reason you might think.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lips wrapped around a cigar, Magnum speaks low to Eric across the old felt card table. His gruff voice echoes through Eric's cavernous mind. It's like a warm hug and sandpaper at the same time. Eric can never get enough of it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yer my partner, lad,” the giant man proclaims, staring right at Eric. The nervous young man can’t help but blush at the thought.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘If only.’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnum shuffles cards like a pro, Eric watching him in awe. Bim is to his right, Wilford his left. There’s a barely touched margarita in front of him. The air around them is smoky as the other three puff on their cigars. Eric's trying hard not to cough. They’re sitting in their dimly lit parlor, the younger man feeling entirely out of place as usual. But Dark had canceled on them last minute, and Wilford needed a fourth person. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- I barely know how to play Euchre,” Eric had explained, hands wringing nervously. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilford had waved him off, not caring in the slightest. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter, we’ll teach you. It’s just for fun anyway. Dark won’t let us gamble after last time.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric contemplated it, wanting any excuse to spend time with Magnum. It didn’t happen often, though Eric really wanted the opportunity.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Al- alright.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wilford gave him a pleased smile and patted his arm. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great! Meet us downstairs at seven.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the here and now, Eric is rethinking his decision. Since Dark was always Wilford’s partner, Eric figured he would be as well. Instead he’s working together with Magnum to kick the other mens’ asses. Eric doesn’t know if he can function sitting across from the pirate all night. His presence was always a tempting distraction, even if he didn't have enough courage to make a move. Body shivering, Eric clutches the margarita before him. The other egos always made him extremely jittery.  Especially the captain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ye cold?” asks Magnum, going to take off his coat. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shocked, he almost spits out his drink. While swallowing hard, preferring to choke than make a fool out of himself, Eric waves his hands. The movement makes the captain halt, eyeing him like he's grown three more heads. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“N- no, I’m- I'm fine!” He doesn’t sound fine, voice horse from choking. Nor does he look it. “Really. Th- thank you, though.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For a minute the other man simply peers at him. Eventually he gives Eric a little smile that makes the smitten man shiver yet again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Suit yerself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The captain deals them each out five cards then puts the stack in the middle. He flips over a card and the first game begins. It’s Bim’s decision first to turn down the card or tell Magnum to pick it up and call suite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pass,” Bim bites, staring disappointedly at his hand. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Chewing on his lip, Eric looks over his cards. He has a Jack of both spades and clubs, an Ace of spades, and the card facing up is a spade. He glances up to Magnum who’s watching his lips. Gulping, Eric orders him up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um, p- pick it up.”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnum grins at his partner. Eric loves the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles his way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The honorific churns Eric's mind to mush. Pleased with himself, the captain chuckles. Eric wonders exactly what he’s gotten himself into, because this was already torture. By the end of the night he was going to be a puddle in Magnum's hands. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The four men continue their game while Eric's stammering heart pounds much too quickly. Eric takes three tricks, giving him and Magnum the first point of the game. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Great job, lad.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric can’t help but beam at the praise. He blushes at the table, unable to meet Magnum's prideful eyes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Th- thanks.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They continue like that for a few hours, cracking jokes, telling tales. The nervous introvert is calm and happy for the first time in ages. It feels like he might actually be making friends. The thought gives him an unbreakable high. When he finally relaxes, the captain decides to destroy his peace. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do ye like in a lass?” Magnum asks the table, looking over his hand in contemplation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I like blondes,” Bim states simply. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The wild ones,” Wilford purrs, expression distant as he reminisces. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnum looks at Eric, patiently waiting with his arms resting on the table. The contrastingly nervous man grips his cards until they almost tear in two. Sweat beads on his forehead. He's sure they can all hear the screaming inside his mind. How can he answer that question? He likes women, sure. But not in the way they’re implying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eric? What about yer type?” asks the curious captain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- I, um. Nice, I guess?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What else?” Bim asks. “Blonde? Brunette? Nice ass?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The captain peers at his tense expression, sizing him up. Eric doesn’t like it at all. He can’t know his secret. If he did, he might start flirting even more. Eric isn’t sure he can handle that. Magnum made sexual comments all the time as it was. Eric knows it’s just to tease him. If it ever became real, he would burst into flames. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I don’t- I don’t have a type,” Eric says, desperately hoping they’ll believe him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Nice is a type,” explains Magnum, seemingly nonplussed. “I like the sweet ones meself.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Those piercing eyes don’t leave Eric’s. Fidgeting with his cards is the only thing keeping the anxious man from fleeing as fast as possible.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bim doesn’t seem satisfied by Eric’s answer but he stops asking. Wilford never cared in the first place. He's still staring at his cards like they owe him money and he's about to take them out to a desert to teach them some manners. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric’s grateful he’s been saved from the questioning, because he wasn’t about to admit his sexuality. He knows Wilford flirts with everything that has a pulse. Bim often drones on and on about some Mathias fellow. And he swears Magnum is flirting with him right now, though that could be wishful thinking. So, Eric isn’t entirely afraid the men are homophobic, but that doesn’t mean he’s willing to out himself. There was always a possibility they could hate him for it as his family had. Eric couldn't take that heart-aching rejection again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Bim was currently talking about a woman he dated once. The other two laugh, pulling Eric out from his fearful mind. He chuckles lightly, having no idea what they’re talking about. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other men start up other conversations as they play, Eric enjoying the company. Gladly they never prod him further, for which he’s very grateful. Every once in a while he would partake, but usually he was happy to just sit back and listen to the others talk. It reminded him of when his dad had poker night with his buddies. This time Eric was one of the guys. Eric had never really felt like he fit in with the other egos, or anyone else, so this was a nice change of pace.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Eric knows it he’s chugged down two margaritas and they’ve won four out of six games. Eric’s actually pretty proud of himself. It’s been a long time since he’s won something. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We make a good team,” Magnum remarks through a tipsy smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He’s shuffling the cards for something to do, though the last game is over. Wilford and Bim have already started off toward their bedrooms, leaving just the two of them in the dimly lit parlor. Being alone with this man gives Eric a horrifying yet exhilarating thrill. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W- we do?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The captain nods, eyes unwavering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Aye. Don’t we?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric really can’t be sure. His mind can’t process what’s happening as those warm eyes gaze at him. It gives Eric tingles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I guess we do," admits Eric with a cautious smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tired eyes glance at the empty glasses and beer bottles stacked up on the bar top. His slightly alcohol-addled mind reminds him to do the dishes tomorrow as a thank you for letting him join. When he turns back toward Magnum, the pirate is leaned against the table, watching him. His heart stutters at the blatant staring. Part of him nervously wonders if he's done something wrong. Most of him is freaking out wondering why Magnum is looking at him like he's delectable. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tonight was fun. Ye should join us again. I like being yer partner.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The words drag Eric to the ground. Gulping, he absentmindedly adjusts his glasses. Magnum is surveying his every movement like he's fascinated by his reactions. Eric's pulse thrums. The possibility of doing this again sobers him up. An instinctual fear courses through Eric's body. The man across the table is eyeing him like prey. Eric isn't afraid of Magnum, though. He's afraid of himself. If he said something wrong now it would ruin a perfect evening. Eric wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- I have to go.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Horrified of messing anything up, Eric excuses himself and scurries off. He puts his own empty bottles on the bar top, hating the loud clink they make. Even though it's only the two of them the noise makes him feel like everyone is staring angrily at him. Wincing, Eric turns to leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Have a good night,” Magnum calls behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric hates the disappointment vibrating through his voice. He so badly wants to spend quality time with the other man. Yet he doesn’t go back. Overwhelming fears won’t let him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You t- too, Captain.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hating himself, Eric hides out in his bedroom, terrified that he and Magnum actually had pleasant conversations. The captain has been staying at the manor for a few months now, yet tonight was one of the first Eric’s been courageous enough to speak to the man. Usually he steered clear of Magnum. Not because he didn’t like him. He liked him too much.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first time he’d seen the man his chest was licked by flames. Every molecule in his body started boiling over. Magnum had asked if he was alright. Eric just stuttered nervously and shuffled off quickly, leaving the man in his dust. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Though he’s ran away yet again, Eric is giddy from the nice evening. Spending time with the others was a pleasant reprieve. No one ever asked to hang out with him. Eric had always been a weird sort. His father made sure to tell him so. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric turns on some calming music on his phone to help him fall asleep. He pulls a fleece blanket up to his chin, the softness rubbing against his stubble. Staring up at the white ceiling above him, he ponders over the night. He thinks of the sadness on Magnum’s face as he shot away, not having the courage to be alone with him. Eric frowns, gripping a cushy pillow to his chest. He wishes it was the man he had fallen for. But Eric knows he'll always be alone in his own fantasies. Deep down he is painstakingly aware that the captain would never fall for him. No one could. Eric was unlovable. His father didn't love him. His brothers never loved him. He didn't even love himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of Eric swears the ceiling starts to descend downward, threatening to crush him. He almost wishes it would. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Xxoxx </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Eric loves to hear the big boisterous man laugh and joke around with the other egos. Currently he was sitting in the dining room with Bim, Host, and Bing talking about anything and everything. Meanwhile, Eric’s sitting in the living room watching the other men carry on a conversation, pretending to be looking through Twitter. Eric hates to admit it, but he’s not paying any attention to his phone. Longing eyes often glance up, going to one ego in particular. Eric had always watched from afar, afraid to get too close. The night prior had been wonderful, though he was nervous to be alone with the man now. Eric’s petrified he might do or say something stupid and give himself away.   </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I sense higher than average levels of dopamine in your system," Google states beside him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jumping, Eric squeaks in surprise. Magnum glances back at him, eyebrow cocked, making Eric blush. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Busted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Becoming a mouse almost murdered by a trap, Eric scurries off before his neck gets broken. Narrowly escaping, Eric retreats toward his bedroom, praying that Magnum hadn’t heard the android. Google follows close behind, intending to have his questions answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Would you like to clarify your emotions to further my understanding of humanity?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A shaking Eric stops at his door but he can't find his keys. Both hands pat himself down desperately. His body quivers as he checks every pocket. Then he remembers. He left them in the living room. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scared out of his wits, Eric peers at Google, those words finally catching up to his ears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I- what?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Google looks frustrated at having to repeat himself but reiterates, nonetheless. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"When you're around Magnum your level of dopamine increases. I've noticed that happen to some of the others as well. Care to explain?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tinge of jealousy bombards him. He has no real right, but he can’t help it. Magnum was a rugged man with an intoxicating smile, fiery eyes, and a strong personality. Eric can’t blame others for falling for him, too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Other egos have a- a crush on Magnum?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not that I'm aware,” clarifies Google, giving him a weird look. “I meant that their dopamine levels are higher around certain other people." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you saying you have romantic emotions toward Magnum?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Blushing red, Eric clutches the yellow security blanket in his pocket. His eyes refuse to meet the android’s piercing gaze.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah,” Google concludes, watching Eric quietly panic, needing no further clarification. “It's been going on for some time now. Why have you not approached him and asked to become his mate?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric wonders if Google even remotely understands humanity. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How- how could I do that? He can't know. He'd n- never feel the same way about me." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Google doesn't move or blink. Eric wonders if he's shut off. Concerned, Eric goes to wave a hand in front of his face. Google whirs with a start, making Eric jump. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have a possible solution to overcome your fears." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Intrigued, Eric listens intently. When the android doesn't clarify, he whispers in askance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A solution?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A relatively new piece of technology called a Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor. SQUIP for short. It's from Japan. It implants in your brain and helps solve your problems. It's a more intrusive version of myself." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric already thought Google was intrusive enough. Why would he want such a thing? Yet he can’t help his intrigue. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Fix my problems?’ ponders Eric, wondering if a piece of technology could somehow rebuild his entire life and personality. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thoughts wander over the night prior. He had finally been getting somewhere with Magnum, and his fears forced him to retreat. It had been the perfect time to woo the man. Just the two of them in the romantically lit room. Alcohol loosening their lips. He wanted to confess so badly. His anxiety stopped him from making a move. It always fucked up everything.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do they… do they really work?" Eric asks, growing more determined. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"To my knowledge, yes." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric chews on the thought then recalls the judgement the egos had just given him when he jumped. Freak. They thought he was a basketcase. Eric had always been the strange kid. Now he was the bizarre adult too scared to talk to his crush, so he ogles him from afar. This would give Eric a chance with Magnum. It could make the other egos actually like him, instead of just tolerate his presence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not wanting to be the weird one anymore, Eric takes a deep breath. It might be a mistake, but he doesn’t care. Eric’s desperate. He has nothing and everything to lose. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where do I get one?" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Xxoxx</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Conveniently, Google has one in his room. He tells him he's been waiting for someone to try it out, curious about its practicality. Google hands it over, staring unblinkingly at the human. Eric isn’t sure what to think. It was a small, oblong grey pill. The word SQUIP was written on the outside. It looked like a futuristic, monochrome version of Tylenol. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to take it with regular Mountain Dew.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Google shrugs, motioning for Eric to take the pill in hand. Eric does so but is starting to wonder if he’s just getting drugged. He wouldn’t put it past Google. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Everything felt very off. Yet Eric was desperate. He didn’t want people thinking he was some loser, geek, whatever. If it gave him even a small chance of interacting with the captain, maybe even helping the man fall for him too, Eric will take it. He’ll do anything to finally feel loved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m not sure why it has to be Mountain Dew, that’s just what the instructions say.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric isn't sure either. Nervous yet again, he realizes he needs to find Mountain Dew. The problem now is the soda is in the kitchen, which is painfully close to the dining room Magnum is occupying. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Heart pounding, he stalks toward the room, listening intently. His heart is much too loud. The men are still there chatting amongst themselves. He swears they’ll be able to hear it knocking against his ribs. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Taking a deep breath, Eric sneaks in and grabs a soda. He almost makes it out alive when a familiar voice booms behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Eric?" calls Magnum.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric’s heart flutters then chokes him, movements stopped. He turns, a deer in the headlights. The man he’s enamored with is talking to him and Eric is </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> prepared. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Can ye bring me me coffee? I left it on the counter." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gulping, Eric takes it to him, hand shaking the entire way. He has to fully concentrate not to slosh any on the tile. He knows if he does everyone will laugh and stare and point at him. Just like in school. Sadness stabs at his lungs as he sets it on the table, body deflating rapidly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank ye, lad," Magnum purrs, smiling sweetly up at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When their eyes meet, Eric feels an electric shock. Terrified, he looks away quickly. The man’s smile does something deeply powerful to his heart. It gives him an all-encompassing feeling of happiness. Eric isn’t used to that sensation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re w- welcome,” he utters, bombarding emotions paining him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Needing to get away fast, he ducks back out of the dining room, clutching the Mountain Dew. Magnum watches him, confused yet amused. Eric doesn't notice the fondness in his expression. He’s too busy getting the hell out of there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He miraculously makes it back to Google in one piece. Taking a steadying breath, he puts the grey pill on his tongue. His mouth is so dry from the interaction with Magnum that it sticks to his tongue. Eric's surprised that it tastes minty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Here goes nothing,’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Making either the best or worst decision of his life, Eric takes a sip of Mountain Dew then swallows. Eric waits. And waits. He looks down at his hands, then back to Google. Not a single thing happens. He feels exactly the same: lanky, gay, and lonely. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did it work?” wonders a scientifically curious Google. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, um, I don’t think so,” a defeated Eric declares. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Disappointed, Google frowns and leaves him alone yet again. Frustrated at himself for getting his hopes up, Eric shuffles back to the living room. Not knowing what else to do, he sits down in a comfortable chair and reads. The deflated man figures he needs a distraction. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he starts getting tired, he stretches and glances around. Jumping, Eric sees the captain has made his way silently into the living room. He's got on reading glasses and has a rugged old leather journal in his hands. Eric’s surprised to see he's writing in it. He balks, wondering how the hell Magnum’s sitting five feet away and Eric never even noticed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're writing." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aye, and yer reading.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Embarrassed, Eric blushes at the ground. Magnum looks up and smiles cheekily at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I'm just teasing ye, lad." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O- oh. Um. Okay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric relaxes into Magnum’s friendly gaze. This wasn’t so bad. They were conversing. It was the first time they've ever been alone in a room where Eric hasn't fled immediately. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that y- your journal?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"One of 'em. I’ve had a lot over the years.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you talk of your, um, ad- adventures in them?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The uncontained excitement makes the captain perk up. Eric wants to bottle it up and open it on stormy days. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sometimes. Why, would ye like to hear of ‘em?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Practically vibrating, Eric nods, turning toward the man in excitement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"May I read them?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The captain shakes his head. Eric wants to backtrack, horrified that he’s offended the man. Magnum doesn’t give him time to repent. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sorry, lad; me journal is very personal. Some things ye probably shouldn’t read.” Magnum sets down the leather-bound book, a smirk forming between his beard. “But I can tell ‘em to ye." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The captain is about to bring him through tales of rough open seas, scallywags, and lost treasure. Eric beams, beyond elated. This is exactly what he’s always wanted. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'd love th-" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A jolt reverberates inside his brain. Desperate hands shoot to painted temples, squeezing like it will push out the uncomfortable feeling. His teeth clench painfully, white hot sparks pulsing through his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wh- what the hell was that?” gasps Eric, blinking rapidly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Concerned, Magnum’s eyebrow raises. He sits on the edge of his seat, ready to help if need be. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was what?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Did- didn't you hear that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated</span>
  </em>
  <span>." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another jolt blasts into his brain like a shotgun shell. His eyes roll in the back of his head. They snap back to normal, Eric left swaying on the couch. Horrified, Magnum stares as the man starts to hyperventilate. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are ye having a seizure?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric shakes his head, the world pulsing around him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- I don't k- know. “</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Discomfort level may increase</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” explains the voice. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahhhhh!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Twitching violently, Eric doubles over and falls to the floor. Prosthetic feet kick at the carpet. Breathless gasps make his lungs scream. Everything becomes so painful he almost passes out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The captain rushes over, not sure what to do. Eric writhes on the floor, groaning in intense pain. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What's wrong, lad?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric can’t breathe let alone talk. Wide, horrified eyes search the captain’s, begging for help. He needs assistance but he just can’t do anything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Magnum puts a hand on his side, looking shocked himself. His eyes scour Eric’s body, desperately trying to figure out what’s wrong. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eric, what’s happening?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Accessing neural memory. Accessing muscle memory,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice rings in his ears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With each access point there’s a painful shock of electricity through his body. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ahhhhh!” Eric screams, helpless body flopping on the floor. Like a dying fish, his eyes bulge out. He’s gasping for air that won’t come. Limbs flail uncontrollably. His skull bashes hard against the floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The alarmed pirate is leaning down, hands out to help but not knowing how. Magnum searches over the man desperately as Eric screams.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gaaaaaah!” </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Access procedure complete.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Then the pain is gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gasping and panting, Eric tries desperately to catch his breath. Every muscle screams. His prosthetics feel impossibly heavy. There are tears in his eyes. His brain is floating in cyanide. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric’s eyelids carefully peel open. The terrified captain is looking down at him, brown eyes vast with concern.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are ye okay? What the hell happened?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric sniffles, wanting to run. He hates the way Magnum is looking at him. The man thinks he’s broken. Insane. A freak. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shame overtakes his soul. Eric’s about to scurry away and get the hell out of there until he realizes something. There’s another person standing beside him. Eric looks up slowly, wondering which ego had come to investigate the screaming. The face cocks as it looks down at him. He isn’t an ego. Smiling creepily, the person speaks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Eric Derekson, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor. Your SQUIP</span>
  </em>
  <span>." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric stares horrified at the person bent over him. His mouth gapes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eyebrow lifted, Magnum glances over his shoulder then back at Eric.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are ye looking at?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric gawks, vision shooting back to the man. He stands with an unamused expression, hands clasped behind his back. Cold blue eyes seize his very soul. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y- you don’t see him?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Uncomfortable, Magnum backs away. The man on the floor had some kind of convulsion and started seeing things that weren’t there. Magnum probably figures he’s a worthless, hallucinating druggie. Eric’s sure the captain thinks he’s a complete lunatic.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>You’re right, he is thinking that</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” the being says. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric scrambles backward across the carpet, palms getting rug burn.  He stares at the person in horror, making intangible noises. Magnum looks at Eric then around the room like maybe </span>
  <em>
    <span>he’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> the one who’s losing it.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“H- how are you-?” Eric says out loud. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The person puts a finger to his lips. Eric watches, own mouth agape. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Shh. Don’t talk to me out loud. He already thinks you’ve lost your mind. If he thinks you’re insane, you’ll lose all chances with this target male.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>‘Target male?’ Eric thinks, face scrunched in confusion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes, target male. You are gay, correct? That’s what my scans detected</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Mortified, Eric balks. No one was supposed to know that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘How are you reading my thoughts? How do you know I’m gay?’ </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The person crosses his hands behind his back, leaning toward him. Eric can’t breathe. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m inside your brain, Eric. You can’t hide anything from me.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Eric’s about to pass out. If he does maybe this nightmare will end. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Also, I don’t have a true body. No one else can see or hear me. You’re simply seeing a projection of a humanoid appearance. I don’t have a gender and don’t identify as male. Call me it, not he.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Mind fizzling, Eric gulps. Nothing was making sense. Google was right about this thing being intrusive. Everything about it was overwhelming. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“O- okay.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t speak out loud!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP chides. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Sorry.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Good. Now, tell Magnum you’re not feeling well and go back to your bedroom.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>‘H- how do I do that?’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>SQUIP looks at him like he’s an idiot. Hands shoving into his pocket, Eric grips his little yellow cloth. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t</span>
  <em>
    <span> touch that,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP chastises. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scrambling, Eric puts it back in his pocket. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you want him to think you’re a child?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>‘No.’</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Excellent. Now, say ‘I was just practicing my acting. Sorry if I scared you.</span>
  </em>
  <span>’” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>‘Will he buy that?’ Eric ponders, entirely skeptical. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP sighs. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“If you want him to like you then you have to listen to me, Eric.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was j- just practicing my acting. Sorry if- if I scared you,” a shattered Eric lies aloud after several minutes of having an internal conversation with a piece of technology. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe he actually has lost his god damn mind. Magnum surely looks like Eric has. He’s still kneeling on the floor where Eric had been convulsing. The other man is obviously taken aback. Magnum moves turtle slow, like any little movement will spook the unstable man. Eric’s pretty sure it will. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Um. Alright,” Magnum starts, beyond confused, scouring Eric’s face. He finds no answers there. The captain doesn’t believe him, but he doesn’t know what the hell he just witnessed either. “Ye did a good job, then. Ye scared the shit outta me.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eric smiles but there’s nothing behind it but fear and confusion. Every positive sensation he had before SQUIP arrived was now entirely gone. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Leave quickly before he asks more questions.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Scrambling to get up, Eric leaves the man confused and concerned, kneeling on the carpet and watching him scurry away once more. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hm,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>the being says disappointed, studying Eric’s body. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The anxious man is standing there with his shirt off, pale body on display for the other being’s judgemental eyes. Despite his protests, SQUIP made him go into his bedroom to look in a full-length mirror. He keeps trying to cover himself up, but SQUIP pushes his hands away. Eric doesn’t understand how he can actually feel its touch. It truly was a powerful little piece of technology. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What's wrong?” a self-conscious Eric utters as SQUIP frowns. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re what people would call a ‘twink.’”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric doesn’t even know how to respond to that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Look down,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> it orders. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Because I need to see what I’m working with.”</span>
  </em>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gulping, Eric feels a surge of shame. He’s certain it couldn’t be suggesting what he thinks.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you mean my-?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP sighs, ever suffering. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Your penis. I need to know if it will be satisfactory. Otherwise we will need to resort to pumping and medications.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ca- can't you see it already?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks over at SQUIP who’s giving him a condescending look. Eric pulls into himself more. Something zaps him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No slouching, you’ll look like a masturbator.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric wonders why masturbation is bad when the pill in his head is telling him to drop his pants. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“To answer your earlier question, I can only see what you see. Though I can run through millions of possible outcomes instantaneously and choose the best actions for a desirable outcome, it's easier if you just follow my instructions.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Impressed and terrified, Eric decides he doesn’t have anything to lose. Besides, it was supposed to be helping him. Getting a little courageous, Eric drops his pants and looks down. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Manageable, I suppose,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP admits, scrutinizing his penis. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“A normal length and girth. Magnum will be neither impressed nor disappointed. He should have no real issue with your size.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Embarrassed, Eric pulls his pants back on. Hands vibrating, he does up the fly with some difficulty.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You need to work on your musculature. My calculations suggest that Magnum will not be pleased with your body in this current state.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP goes in front of him and surveys his bare chest. It’s mostly hairless and fairly skinny without definition. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’ll start with crunches, then we need to find you some dumbbells.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric still doesn’t understand what the hell is happening. He scrutinizes the being in front of him, realizing its actually quite attractive. SQUIP was white, looked around Eric’s age and height with short, dark curly hair, and sharp blue eyes. It was wearing a tight, teal t-shirt with binary code imprinted on it, a dark blazer, and black jeans. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t get turned on by my appearance,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP chides. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Embarrassed, Eric apologizes. He can’t help it. The being was strikingly attractive, even if its personality left some things to be desired. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“If you’d like I can change my appearance to be less of a distraction. Would you like that?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, y- you're fine as you are.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP seems satisfied by that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’ll have to get rid of your stuttering. It’s very off-putting.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric’s heart is seized in talons. He’s had the problem since he was a child. It was his worst nervous habit. Everyone looked at him condescendingly for it. So many people told him it was an unattractive trait. Deflated, Eric plays with the hem of his button-down shirt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“M- my stuttering?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Precisely,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP confirms, Eric proving his own point.</span>
  <em>
    <span> “Now, let’s start on those crunches.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Xxoxx</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’ll begin by talking to the Jim’s. They’ll be an easy target.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gulping, Eric wipes sweaty palms against his shirt. It’s the next morning and he hadn’t slept well. Every dream he had involved SQUIP. He wonders if that’s the computer’s doing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The twins are standing outside in the blazing sun. One of them is holding a camera while the other has a microphone. If they weren’t holding those objects Eric never knew which one was which. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Say hello.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘But they’re busy.’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“They’re really not. Let them know you mean business. Make it seem like you have confidence.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“H- hey, guys!” calls Eric. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Reporter Jim turns around, mouth open and eyes vacant. It creeps Eric out sometimes how guileless the two still were at their age. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eric-Jim!” the reporter exclaims. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His brother sighs, turning off the camcorder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ask them to hang out.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you wanna hang out?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, we’re recording a scoop,” Reporter Jim clarifies.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Unless you wanna help us out,” suggests the cameraman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Say yes.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The reporter hands him a boom mic. Eric’s never held one before. It’s heavier than he realized. He’s not sure why they need one while Reporter Jim is holding a microphone, but he’s not about to complain. He listens to the crazy, likely concocted story Jim raddles on about. Once they’re done the cameraman yells, “Cut!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other Jim sets down his microphone then turns to Eric with a hearty grin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Happy to help,” Eric admits, satisfaction burning at his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good job,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>SQUIP says with an encouraging smile beside him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“They’re beginning to like you. Keep it up. Ask them to hang out again.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you wanna hang out now?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure!” the reporter exclaims. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jim looks over at his brother who Eric realizes is much less enthusiastic than his twin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jim, you comin’?” asks his twin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Just a sec. I gotta upload our footage. Where are ya gonna be?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ready for anything, Jim stares at Eric for confirmation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“The pool. Ask them go to swimming.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘B- but they’ll see my prosthetics!’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Exactly. They’re kind-hearted people. We’ll use your lack of legs as a conversation point.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP’s words stab his stomach, the knife twisting sharply, wound bleeding out. The idea has him nauseous. Eric feels like he’s going to throw up. Ignoring the slithering, oozing feeling in his intestines, Eric speaks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The pool. L- let’s go swimming.” </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Xxoxx</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The nervous man inspects himself with a frown. There was a reason Eric always wore pants and shoes. He doesn’t like when people see he has prosthetics. They always judge or pity the young man. Eric despises that. How can he ethically use his prosthetics to con people into liking him? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Yet he doesn’t have much choice. It’s not his decision. SQUIP will just shock him until he does as instructed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sighing, Eric gives his body one last look in the mirror. His swim trunks hide nothing. The unwanted prosthetics stare blatantly back at him, mocking the dejected man. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dreading the afternoon he’s about to have, Eric walks down the hall, almost bumping into someone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” the other apologizes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric glances up to see a behemoth of a man peering down at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. Eric. How are ye?” </span>
</p>
<p><span>Eric wants to run.</span> <span>He’s going to see his prosthetics. This is the worst possible situation. </span></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, it isn’t. Remember, Magnum is also a double amputee. This is going according to plan.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What? Did you know I was going to run into him?’ Eric balks internally. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes. You have a shared experience. Use it to your advantage.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m okay,” Eric lies, a hushed embarrassment sparking inside him. “How, um, how are you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum starts to speak before his eyes wander inevitably downward. Closing heavy eyelids, Eric braces himself. He’s not afraid of judgment. He’s afraid SQUIP will be right. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are those prosthetics?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The captain gapes at his legs. Eric feels them wobble under him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y- yeah.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t know ye were an amputee.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric didn’t want anyone to know. The reason behind it was a painful one. He would rather not bring it up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t like talking about it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Understanding entirely, the captain nods. Eric doesn’t like that he knows that unique sort of frustration. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aye, I understand.” Magnum stands there for a moment, not certain what to say. He licks his lips before speaking again. “Well, I’ll let ye be. See ye around.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“See ya,” Eric says through a forced smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good, now you have a shared connection. Your friendship levels have increased.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric does like the sound of that, even though the reasons behind it leave a slimy sensation of deceit. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not knowing how to feel anymore, Eric continues toward the pool. He was about to have this same conversation with two men who were known for their prodding questions. Gulping, Eric trudges onward. He was definitely not looking forward to this.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Xxoxx </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Whoa! Can I touch ‘em?” Reporter Jim asks with wide eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two twins are sitting on the pool’s edge, feet dangling in the water. Eric feels a rush of jealously. Glaring, his brother slaps his arm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ow.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You can’t just ask him that. What the hell is wrong with you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jim frowns, embarrassed eyes falling upon Eric. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, it’s okay,” sighs Eric. “You- you can touch them if you want.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Reporter Jim reaches out, a tentative finger poking the strong material. His hand flies back like he’s been burnt. Everything in Eric wants to scream. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t you dare.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Can you feel that?” Jim asks, scared he’s hurt him somehow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His brother rolls his eyes at the stupid question. It’s not entirely ignorant, though. He knows Jim has a childlike wonder about the world. It helps Eric relax a tad, roiling embarrassment calming some. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I can’t feel anything under m- my knees. I, um, have phantom pain sometimes, but I- I don’t have sensation anymore.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric’s surprised to see both men are mesmerized. They’re not judging him, they’re intrigued by the new information. Eric can’t help but soften at the twins. They’re reporters, through and through. Plus, Eric knows they mean no harm. They’re just ever curious. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You wanna swim?” Cameraman Jim asks him, bringing Eric back to Earth and gladly changing the subject. Eric abhores being the center of attention. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The three enter the pool, cool water refreshing on their hot skin. The twins dive right in while Eric takes his time walking down the steps while holding the railing. A hot summer sun scorches down upon them. They swim and splash around for a while, enjoying themselves. The brothers keep trying to dunk one another. Eric watches them with a sad fondness. He remembers interacting with his brothers this way. Eric misses them every single day. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let’s play Marco Polo,” one of the Jim’s suggests. Eric’s pretty sure it’s the reporter. It was hard to tell with all the splashing and roughhousing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eric, you can be Marco first, okay?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s fine with that. Eric stands in the middle of the pool, twirling around in a dizzying circle. Hot sunshine beats down on his bare shoulders. He can’t recall the last time he was vaguely comfortable in his own body. Or felt like he was making friends. Eric feels alive for the first time in years. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An unsteady Eric reaches out, eyes clenching closed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Marco!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Jim twins giggle to his left. Smiling wide, Eric turns toward them. One of the them yips. He must be close. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric surges forward, hand connecting with a naked shoulder. His eyes shoot open as the other man giggles uncontrollably. He finds he’s tagged Reporter Jim. His brother is holding him in front of him as a human shield. Eric can’t help but laugh at the scene. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The reporter moves to the center of the pool, circling around. His twin moves to the corner of the pool, making sure his brother will never find him. Eric stands on the opposite side.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Move forward.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Why?’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Jim will automatically head for his brother unless you sound closer. If he tags you it will make him feel good, giving you two a connection.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric can’t argue with that. Plus, if he did, SQUIP would automatically win anyway. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He walks forward, watching a dizzy Jim accidentally tip over into the water. The man laughs as water slaps him in the face. He wipes it off before calling out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Marco!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Polo!” both men respond. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jim’s eyebrow and lips raise, realizing Eric’s much closer. The excitable man reaches out, hands searching for him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric has to admit it’s fun being chased. The man follows him around the pool as his brother watches from the far corner, pleased he’s being spared.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Marco,” Jim calls. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Polo,” a happy Eric returns. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s only a couple inches away from being caught now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Let him tag you.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric stops, pretending he’s tripped. He falls back into the cool water, Jim’s hand grazing his cheek. The man’s eyes fling open, sparkling with pride. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I got you!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thrill on his face is worth it. Eric feels a wave of merriment wash over him. SQUIP was right. It’s worth loosing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You did. Good job.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jim beams unabashed at him. Eric’s sure they’re about the same age, but part of him is starting to see them as the younger brothers he never had. Jim’s actual sibling moves behind him as Eric goes to the middle and closes his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They play for almost an hour more until they’re thoroughly exhausted. Frolicking in the sun was making them sleepy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The three sit on the edge of the pool eating popsicles that Reporter Jim had ran to grab. Lounging there with his two new friends, Eric feels a fullness he hasn’t since his family was still around. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP settles next to him, its legs relaxing over the side of the pool. The water doesn’t move as its feet dip in. It’s an eerie sight. Sometimes Eric forgets no one else can see it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Great job today, Eric,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP praises, smiling his way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Thanks,’ a pleased Eric thinks, eating it up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They sit there chatting until the popsicle just isn’t enough. The three youngest egos make their way into the manor, legs dripping water upon the tile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dark peers over at them, anger snapping like firecrackers. He’s about to chastise the twins when he realizes Eric is with them. Seeing Dark’s pissed off expression, Eric halts. When they make eye contact, Dark sighs and doesn’t say a word. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“He has a soft spot for you,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP realizes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric’s stomach flips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘He does?’ a terrified Eric thinks, afraid someone has feelings for him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, but not in that way. He despises the twins, yet he didn’t yell at you for getting the floor wet. He’s pleased that you’re making friends and didn’t want to upset you. We can use that to our advantage.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric never knew Dark even had emotions beside anger. When he wasn’t getting after Wilford or the Jim’s he just had a resting bitch face. It surprises Eric to no avail, yet he can see it now. Dark has raised his voice to pretty much every other ego in the house, but never to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Musing over the new information, Eric grabs a plate of spaghetti someone had made. Most of the other egos had already eaten, but two were still at the dining room table. Dark was eating a salad and Magnum sat across from him consuming a garlicky breadstick. Eric’s heart rolls in his chest. He ignores the thought that flashes through his mind seeing the object in his mouth. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sit next to Magnum,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP offers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gulping down fear, Eric does as instructed. He sets the plate down then pulls out a chair. Reporter Jim sits beside him, his brother taking the next seat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did ye boys have fun swimming?” Magnum asks, turning toward them. The captain flashes them all a smile that makes Eric's heart patter. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Totally,” the more excitable Jim exclaims, spaghetti hanging out of his mouth, while his twin just nods respectfully. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How about ye, Eric?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glancing away, Eric fiddles with the noodles on his plate. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t act shy. Look him in the eyes.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pushing away alarm, Eric cautiously turns toward the captain. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had a lot of fun.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good ta hear,” remarks Magnum, expression softening as he watches him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric gazes up into his mocha eyes, falling into the other man’s presence. There was something so sweet under that gruff exterior. All Eric wants is to pull the man into an adoring embrace and tell him how crazy he makes him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Put your hand on his thigh.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The sentence sounds foreign in his ears. Eric’s sure SQUIP has lost its damn mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What? I can’t do that.’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do it. Now. While he’s showing interest.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Taking a steadying breath, tentative fingers reach out. They graze the man’s upper leg, then he squeezes. Magnum jumps, bumping against the table.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh…” he says through a gulp, staring straight ahead, which happens to be right at Dark. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric rethinks his entire life.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong, Captain?” asks Dark, fork stabbed into his salad. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“N- nothing,” the pirate stutters, then his eyes snap to Eric’s, searching for an answer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum is obviously perturbed. Eric knows it was a mistake. Even if SQUIP will never admit that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good. Move your hand further in.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘But-'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP leans down, menacing face mere millimeters from his, blocking his view of the captain’s shocked expression. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t disobey me.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A shaking hand slides its way further in toward Magnum’s inner thigh. The captain’s body goes rigid under his touch. Eric is torn. All of him wants this more than anything. But Magnum is usually so forward and outward about his feelings. Eric is mortified that he's frozen and unresponsive. The other man places his hand on Eric’s, stopping all motion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Freaking out, Eric shoots up from the chair. It clatters behind him. Clenching his eyes together, Eric starts hyperventilating. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“What the hell are you doing? Sit back down.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP stares at him, anger rising. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I- I can't. We've fucked everything up. I knew it. He doesn’t want me.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“We don’t know that yet. Sit down, Eric!”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric rushes off without explanation. The Jim’s and Dark call out to him. Eric doesn’t respond. Heavy legs carry him back to the solace of his bedroom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he’s safe his aching body leans against his door. Empty lungs twinge. Blood pumps rapidly. Suddenly, he’s very cold. As he changes clothes his hands shake. SQUIP folds its arms. It stares down at him like a disappointed parent. Shaking, Eric doesn’t dare to look up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You complete idiot.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric deflates, sitting motionless on his bed in pajama pants and an old t-shirt. His wet swim trunks are thrown haphazardly onto the floor. SQUIP moves in front of him, legs almost against his knees. Gulping hard, Eric regretfully peers up and makes eye contact. He doesn’t like the seething fury that meets him.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’ll never get anywhere if you don’t listen to me. I’m here to help you, Eric.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I- I know.’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Stop stuttering. It’s not cute, it’s annoying.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Sorry.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do you want me to shock you every time you disobey? Because I will.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric certainly doesn’t want that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Next time I tell you to do something, you do it. Understood?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Yes.’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good boy.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP sits next to him, boiling anger cooling.</span>
  <em>
    <span> “To repay me you’re going to do fifty crunches and twenty push ups.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Eric doesn’t move, SQUIP frowns. A hand grips Eric’s shoulder, coldness burning through his nerves. It makes him jolt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Now, Eric.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man follows orders, feeling broken and incomplete. Today had gone so well and he messed everything up. Again. If he had just listened to SQUIP then everyone wouldn’t have looked at him like he was disappointing. Or insane. A failure. When he made his own decisions, everything went to hell. The realization makes Eric hate himself even more. SQUIP was just trying to help. If Eric wanted to do more than survive, he had to obey. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he’s finished exercising, he gets dressed and sprays himself with cologne per SQUIP’s demands. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Go apologize to Magnum.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Are you sure he wants to see me right now?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP admits; </span>
  <em>
    <span>“but I want you to see </span>
  </em>
  <span>him</span>
  <em>
    <span>. We have to decide if he’s worth pursuing.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Confusion muddles Eric's mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What do you mean? Of course he’s worth it.’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I meant that we need to find if his feelings run further than friendship and slight attraction. For that I need more data.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric is really starting to hate being a test monkey. Yet he has to admit that he’s curious too. If the captain was upset with him then he wants to make up for it.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hoping Magnum is long gone, Eric looks around for him. He finds the man in his bedroom writing in his journal. An unsteady hand knocks on the wooden door. The man glimpses up curiously. When he identifies Eric, he doesn’t seem pleased. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hm. He doesn’t look happy.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It didn’t take a supercomputer to realize that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“C- can I, um, talk to you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum doesn’t seem too sure about that, but he motions for him to come in. Much too anxious, Eric stares nervously at the carpeting, hands shoving into his jean pockets. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Take your hands out of your pockets. Look at him. Don’t frown.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric does as instructed and flashes the man a sad smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Apologize to him. Tell him you just couldn’t resist and that you’re usually a perfect gentleman.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'm- I’m sorry about earlier. I just couldn’t resist. I’m usually a perfect gentleman, I promise.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The captain relaxes at his words, tense body softening into the mattress. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“’Tis fine, lad. I understand.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You- you do?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum sets down his journal and grants Eric his full attention. Large hands fold in his lap. He leans back against his headboard, surveying the man before him. Eric wonders how he even fits on the bed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aye. Ye didn’t offend me. I’m flattered, really. I just wasn’t expectin’ it from ye.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sit next to him.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric moves next to the captain, perching on the edge of his bed. The other man gives him a puzzled expression. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Compliment his beard.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like your beard.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank ye.” Magnum smiles after a beat, stroking the long, dark hair. “I’ve been growin’ it fer years.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can tell.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ask to touch it.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Why would I-‘ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP shocks him, reprimanding without a word. Eric can’t help but jump. It hurts like hell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“May I?” Eric asks as though nothing happened, hand reaching for Magnum’s beard. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man gives him a funny look, lifting an eyebrow at his odd behavior. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Nevermind. Apologize quickly and bat your eyes.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry,” Eric apologizes, batting his eyes. It looks more like he’s blinking uncontrollably. Magnum sits up, leaning toward the bizarre man. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ye alright, lad? Yer actin’ strange again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’re losing him. Tell him he drives you crazy.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Only because you drive me crazy.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do?” asks a confused and slightly offended Magnum through narrowing eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“He took it the wrong way. Apologize quickly and get out of here. He’s not responding the way I’ve predicted.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, I- I have to go,” stammers Eric, standing quickly. He almost loses balance but steadies himself quickly. The perturbed man leaves before Magnum can wrap his mind around what the hell is happening.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP takes long strides beside him, stroking its chin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Hm. That should have worked. His emotions don’t work the way I’m programmed to understand. We’re going to need more data.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘How do we do that?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’ll make the other egos fall in love with you.”  </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>
    <span>“Your flirting is abysmal,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>SQUIP tells him that morning as Eric practices amorous smiles in the bathroom mirror. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Though he agrees, the comment still hurts. He's never been good at talking to people let alone flirting with them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dejected, Eric finishes brushing his teeth then goes out for breakfast. Most of the other egos are already eating. SQUIP tells him to grab some bran cereal with cut up banana slices. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Should I sit next to Magnum?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Absolutely not,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP urges, walking next to him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re going to start with the least prudent then work your way up. Sit next to Wilford.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric doesn’t want to but does so anyway. Wilford is currently eating yogurt with one hand and scrolling through his phone with the other. When Eric sits down beside him, the man glances over. His lips upturn as he realizes who it is. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eric, what a pleasant surprise. You never sit next to me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Tell him he looks handsome today,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>SQUIP offers, standing at Eric’s side. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I can’t tell him that. What if he gets the wrong idea?’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“If you want to practice flirting then you have to start with your easiest mark, and Wilford is definitely the easiest man in this house.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You- you look very handsome today,” mentions Eric, blushing furiously. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilford’s hand stops, spoon halfway to his mouth. Eric is about to grab his cereal and flee when the man grins. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do?” Wilford looks down, surveys his shirt and pants, looking satisfied. “I guess I do. Thank you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric relaxes slightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good job,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> praises SQUIP. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Now, tell him his eyes are pretty.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your eyes a- are very pretty.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eyes narrowing, Wilford gives him a funny look. He surveys Eric’s pink face, mustache wiggling. A hand reaches out, the back touching Eric’s forehead. Confused at the touch, Eric blinks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You feeling alright, kid? You’re a little feverish.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Say he gives you a fever,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>SQUIP offers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I can’t-‘ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do it!” </span>
  </em>
  <span>yells the pill, shocking him again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric jolts in his chair, Wilford’s knuckles knocking against his forehead. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You give me a fever,” Eric coos in his best flirtatious voice. They’re both surprised at how confident he sounds. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Intrigued, Wilford studies him. The mustachioed man looks him over, chin resting in his hand. Interested eyes go low. Enticed, Wilford smiles with amorous intent and spreads on the charm.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh? Tell me more,” he purrs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The older man can’t help but flirt back. It’s practically in his DNA. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A certain other ego can certainly stop him, though. Dark stares daggers at Eric from across the table. The fork he’s holding bends in his grasp. He must have overheard their conversation. Eric stares wide-eyed at the bent utensil, thoughts of Dark doing that to his own throat overtaking him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Abort!” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What? Why?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s in a relationship with Dark.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?!” Eric exclaims aloud. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP shocks him. Eric’s hands shoot to his pounding temples. The outburst sobers Wilford up, his expression becoming uneasy.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t talk to me out loud, Eric. We’ve already established this.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Sorry.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Stop apologizing.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘O- okay.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"And don't stutter!" </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you need to lie down? Can I get you a Tylenol?” a concerned Wilford asks, placing a worried hand on his arm.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The last thing he needs is another damn pill. Eric shakes his head vigorously. It’s a mistake. His mind aches. Wincing in pain, he has to stop. His brain has been shocked so many times it’s tender. It feels like it's swimming in gelatin. Eric can’t imagine that’s a good thing.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I- I’m alright,” claims Eric, vision fuzzy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Obviously, Wilford doesn’t believe him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay. If you say so.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not wanting to offend Eric, Wilford distractedly goes back to his yogurt. Eric hides his face in his cereal, wanting to drown in it. Every few seconds Wilford glances at him, not urging him to speak, but apprehensive nonetheless. Bewildered, Wilford glances over at Dark who is peering back, just as confused. Eric doesn’t dare to speak for the rest of breakfast. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he’s done, SQUIP makes him retreat to his room and workout. For once Eric is more than happy to listen. He doesn’t want to be around anyone right now. He can’t get rid of SQUIP, but it also couldn’t tell anyone else how terrible he felt inside. How much he just wanted to disappear. To end his misery once and for all. Or have never been born in the first place. That was some form of solace. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘They’re really in a relationship?’ asks Eric as he does crunches on his bedroom floor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes. I didn’t realize it until Dark showed obvious signs of jealousy. I’m ninety-five percent certain they’re in a relationship.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What’s the other five percent?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“That Dark has feelings for Wilford and either hasn’t told him yet, or it’s unrequited. So, it’s best to steer clear of Wilford. We don’t want to get on Dark’s bad side.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric definitely agrees with SQUIP. He’d rather not become that fork. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Grunting with exertion, he continues to exercise as SQUIP breezes around his room in thought. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“We’ll have to find someone else to practice on. The next best choice is Bing. I will be able to hack into his software. If you want, I can make him fall for you.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Abs screaming, Eric stops mid crunch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Fall for me?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP stops pacing. It gazes down with those sharp, calculating blue eyes. It gives Eric a chill. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes, Eric. I can rewrite his code so he falls in love with you. It would be the easiest outcome.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘B- but, that would be unethical.’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“So?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric gapes at the being before him who sees no fault in its thinking. Though it looks quite human, nothing alive could be that unblinking and cold. Part of him is really starting to regret swallowing that pill. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I d- don’t want that.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP shrugs, not perturbed in the slightest. It sits on his bed and watches him lie motionless on the floor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Fair enough. We’ll practice on him anyway.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Don’t mess with his code,’ Eric urges, starting up his crunches again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When SQUIP gives him an angry glare, Eric gulps and falters. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Please?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“As you wish.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Xxoxx</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>That afternoon SQUIP makes him put in contacts, which Eric finds frustrating. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You don’t want to look like a nerd, do you?”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP tsks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric blinks much too often now. They feel dry and uncomfortable against his sensitive eyes. But he pushes through. Beauty is pain, he supposes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Unbutton your shirt. Show off a little skin. Let people know you’re available.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP makes him mix up a protein shake before going to find Bing. The android is skateboarding around the driveway, doing tricks on his new ramp. Eric watches in awe, impressed at how easily his body can move. He always wanted to learn how to skateboard. Now he doubts he ever could. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a while, Bing notices Eric watching him and grins. He stops skating and rushes over, board in hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Suh, dude?”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not expecting Bing's happy demeanor at seeing him, Eric gets a little scared. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh, h- hi. How are you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Pretty good, bruh. Did ya see that?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bing grins, unabashed. Unnaturally white teeth flash in the sunlight. It’s both sweet and disturbing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not having a clue what he’s talking about, Eric shakes his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just did a three-sixty. Pretty sick, huh?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Tell him you were distracted, because his body looks good on his skateboard.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, it was, um, sick.” Eric steadies his nervous heart before continuing, then gives Bing his best flirtatious smile. “Sorry, I was distracted. Your- your body looks really good on your skateboard.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bing smiles somehow wider. His stance shifts as he looks over Eric, a hand going to his hip. The human can’t help but love the reactions he’s getting from the other egos. Even if he doesn’t have feelings for them, it makes him feel good to give out compliments. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really? Cool. I was thinkin’ of gettin’ an upgrade. Ya think I should?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP whispers in his ear what to say. Eric turns red but obeys. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t n- need it, you’re already sexy.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bing smirks at him. He lowers his sunglasses, glowing yellow eyes flashing his way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks, dude.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Behind him comes a voice calling Bing’s name. The android looks over Eric’s shoulder and gets a megawatt smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Googs. Just a sec.” Bing turns to Eric and pats his shoulder. “Talk to ya later, okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bing drops his board with a loud thunk and skates over to the other android. Google watches Eric, surveying what he had seen. It makes the human twitch nervously. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’m starting to wonder if everyone in this house is in a homosexual relationship with each other,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>SQUIP ponders next to him, watching the two androids going away together.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Of course,’ Eric thinks to himself, and to SQUIP in the process; ‘Everyone but me.’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Forget flirting practice. We’ll have to work on increasing your social standing. Right now it’s subpar at best. Bing and Wilford now see you as love interests, but Dark and Google’s jealousy levels it out.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric sighs, looking up at the wide blue sky above him. He figures he has about the same chance of sprouting wings and flying into the clouds as he does of getting a boyfriend. Eric can't catch a break. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘How do we fix it?’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Throw a party.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span> Xxoxx</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Since it’s June, the two decide an Independence Day party would be the best excuse. Plus, if Eric’s being honest, he loves the idea of setting off fireworks for everybody. Growing up his family always had a big bash for every American holiday, especially the 4th of July. His father always insisted on having fireworks, so Eric's fairly confident he knows how to set them off without accidentally killing someone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric sends a group text to invite all of the egos that he has in his contacts. Which is everyone except for the technology-clueless captain. So, Eric has to ask him in person. SQUIP tells him this is a perfect opportunity. Eric thinks it’s a living nightmare. </span>
</p>
<p><span>He finds Magnum sitting on the veranda outside, slight wind blowing at his hair. He’s looking out over the railing at the greenery below. Eric saunters up to him, posture perfect, strides forcefully confident. Internally, he feels so nervous he might throw up. He’s wearing contacts and a tight shirt that’s</span> <span>almost entirely unbuttoned. </span></p>
<p>
  <span>‘I look like a douche,” worries Eric, feeling and looking nothing like himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, you don’t. You are ninety-two percent more attractive this way. Trust me. Magnum will love it.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Captain?” Eric calls behind him, shaky voice giving him away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man startles slightly in his chair. He turns to Eric and rewards him with a small upturn of his lips. Eyes wander down his exposed chest. It gives Eric a little thrill. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ye can call me Magnum, lad. No need for formalities.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP beams. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s showing interest. Give him a coy smile.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Magnum,” he repeats carefully like he's holding something precious. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The captain smiles wider. His eyes almost seem flirtatious as they scan Eric's body once more. Eric short circuits, wondering if he was seeing things. The older man cocks his head to the side, surveying him. When Eric doesn’t speak for a while, Magnum pipes up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did ye want something?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I wanted t- to invite you to my Fourth of July party. Everyone’s going to be there.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum simply looks at him, face unreadable. It falters Eric’s forced confidence.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“There’ll be f- fireworks and drinks. I think- well, I hope you’ll have fun.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum’s ears perk up at that. Yet he still looks off. Eric grows even more nervous. SQUIP appears at his side, a hand coming to his shoulder, keeping him calm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I didn’t think ye were the party type,” Magnum admits, intrigued. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP whispers in his ear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah. Get a few drinks in me a- and I can get a little crazy.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric winks at him to emphasize his point. Magnum seems befuddled, like Eric’s speaking a foreign language. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“New tactic. I’ve increased your pheromones. If he’s interested, I should notice a change. Keep talking.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What do I say?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever you want.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a beautiful day, huh?” Eric points out, going to lean against the railing next to the captain. Magnum relaxes, glad he’s changed the conversation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aye. I like looking at the city from here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me too. It’s so pretty.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good job. Keep talking. I’m running possibilities.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not sure what else to say, Eric turns toward Magnum. The other man glances up at him, expression unreadable. Eric doesn’t like that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What do I say?’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t answer him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>'SQUIP?' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There's still no response. He’s on his own. The idea makes Eric want to run for safety. He can’t do this without SQUIP. It’s impossible. He’ll just fuck everything up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- um…” starts Eric, no destination in mind. Embarrassed, he looks at the garden below. “The flowers are pretty.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum doesn’t answer. When a minute has passed, Eric peers over at the other man. The captain is watching him, expression fond yet confused. It gives Eric a jolt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are ye sure yer alright? Yer not actin' like yerself.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric wonders why every time he acts coy the other egos think something’s wrong.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Am I really that pathetic?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yes. But we’ll fix that.”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP leans against him and Eric can swear he can somehow feel it. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Target male is not interested in you. We'll have to find someone else.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘What?’ Eric chokes. ‘B- but I don’t want anyone else.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP looks at his human with condescension.  Eric can almost read its mind. It’s thinking Eric is a hopeless idiot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eric? Are ye alright?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum stands, tall and menacing above him. He’s not trying to be, his figure was just naturally imposing. Swallowing hard, Eric wishes for nothing more than to have the man see him. Really see him. To just give him a chance. It hurts more than anything that Magnum could never be interested. That Eric will never get to be with the one person he desires. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’ll have to settle for somebody else. We’ve struck out too many times. What friendship he had for you is decreasing rapidly.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Then what’s the point of all this?’ an exasperated Eric demands. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I can still find you sexual gratification, but love is not on the table. Find a different man you’re interested in and I’ll help you bed them. Magnum isn’t responding to your advances correctly. You have no chance with him.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric watches Magnum with an aching soul. The captain is peering back with concern, one eyebrow raised, looking lost. He realizes the man is still waiting for an answer. Eric figures the long silence showed his true emotions, but he doesn't want to burden Magnum. Especially if they're no longer even friends. The captain doesn't deserve to have to deal with his problems. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine,” comes Eric’s blatant lie, heart breaking. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A pained smile is the best he can muster. All he wanted was Magnum to like him. Now SQUIP says he's worse off than he started. His dreams have just been crushed. There was no point talking to the other man when every time he did, he just made everything worse. Everything Eric did was pointless. No one but SQUIP would ever care about him. He could see that now. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>What do y'all think so far?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>SQUIP takes Eric back to his room, telling him to exercise while it thinks of a new plan. Meanwhile Eric was an embarrassed mess. He was actually very happy to have some time alone. Eric thinks over the captain’s reactions as he lifts weights. He swears Magnum was even less interested in talking to him than a couple days prior. Everything was going to shit so fast. SQUIP really wasn’t helping things. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Frustrated with everything, Eric pumps harder. Muscles straining, he starts to sweat. His body is sore from overworking himself, but he actually likes it. Eric craves the pain. It reminds him he’s alive. Even if he doesn’t always want to be. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When SQUIP finally pops back up, Eric is drinking from an old, white plastic water bottle, ready to hit the showers. He hears the suction noise loud and clear in his ears as he takes a long sip. Those cool blue eyes watch him. Finally, SQUIP smiles. It’s surprisingly warm. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good. You’ll be ripped in no time.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Proud of himself, Eric smiles shyly. Then he thinks about Magnum and his constant concern every time Eric talks to him. Like he was some kind of weird enigma. Eric can’t imagine the man actually likes him. Not now. He’s been so weird lately. Especially because of SQUIP. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ve found out why we’ve been having so many problems. I’m due for an upgrade, but I need administrative permission to do so.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘You need an upgrade?’ Eric thinks, fingers gripping his water bottle with growing anger. ‘Is- is that why everyone thinks I’m some kind of blabbering weirdo?’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“No, they already thought that.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric’s heart falls. He knows SQUIP is right, but it still hurts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Eric, do I have permission?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nodding, Eric consents. It couldn’t do any more harm. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Xxoxx </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>After the upgrade, SQUIP is much more helpful. Now, with permission, it’s much more hands-on. They practice letting SQUIP take over in the quiet confines of his room. It’s easier for Eric to speak and move now; almost like he’s being puppeteered.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It finishes by giving control back to Eric, apologizes about doing more harm than good, then tells him to find Dark. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The monochrome man is sitting in the study reading an old book. None of the other egos are in sight. Eric sits beside him, making the other look up with a scowl. When he recognizes it’s only Eric, he inserts a bookmark, giving the younger man his full attention. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How are you feeling, Eric? You’ve been acting different lately. Do you need to see Doctor Iplier?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s actually what I’ve come to talk to you about.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh?” asks Dark, interest piqued. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP tells him what to say while Eric repeats it word for word.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been working out lately, trying to become more confident. So, if I’m acting strange, don’t worry. I’m just trying to find myself.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Keep going.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I also wanted to apologize for hitting on Wilford. I understand that you have feelings for him, and I don’t want to put our friendship at risk.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric’s not sure Dark even has to breathe, but the man definitely stops inhaling. It’s quite concerning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You- I-" Dark starts, uncharacteristically unsure of himself. He clears his throat and shakes it off before speaking again. “How did you know?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When you heard me hitting on him you looked really jealous.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Angry for giving himself away, Dark scowls at Eric. It’s not what either of them are expecting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you going to tell him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Interesting. So they’re not in a relationship. Act shocked, like you would never do such a thing.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric doesn’t have to pretend because he never would. It wasn’t his business. Besides, if Dark had told Magnum his true feelings, he’s not sure he’d ever forgive him. The street ran both ways. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh- what? I wouldn’t do that. That’s why I wanted to apologize to you. He’s all yours. I won’t get in your way.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric’s pretty sure he didn’t actually have a snowball’s chance in hell with Wilford, even if he wanted one, but Dark didn’t need to know that. The grey man settles down, smoothing his dress shirt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No problem.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s starting to like you again. Go in for the kill.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two had discussed all possible scenarios before Eric left his room, so he knows just what to say even without SQUIP's more blatant presence. Though he's certain he couldn't do this without it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If you want my help, I can be your wingman. I’ll put in a good word with Wilford if you’d like. Or I can make him jealous and see if he likes you back. What- whatever you need me to do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dark contemplates the offer. Eric’s pretty sure he’ll never accept, but SQUIP swears their plan is foolproof.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I might take you up on that. Actually, while you’re here, I’ve been meaning to ask if you’d like to fill in for Bim this evening at Euchre. He won’t be able to make it, and Wilford said you enjoyed yourself last time. Maybe we can devise a plan beforehand.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric can hardly stand the idea of being in the same room with Magnum for hours, but the offer makes SQUIP perk up beside him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Accept the offer. It will be your best chance to make Magnum like you again.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure, I can do that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dark settles back into the chaise lounge, smiling politely. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good. I’ll see you at seven. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Xxoxx</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A very fussy SQUIP helps Eric pick out what to wear. The man doesn’t understand what the big deal is. The computer tsks at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Eric, you want to impress Magnum, don’t you? I thought you wanted him to like you?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I do.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Then listen to me. Wear this shirt. It’s tight and will show off the new definition to your chest.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric frowns at himself in the mirror. His hair is mussed in a sex-tousled way. SQUIP made him practice his flirting for over an hour until the software deemed it acceptable. Eric watches his reflection, not used to seeing himself without glasses. The attire isn’t quite what he’s used to. His jeans are much too tight. He’s wearing a white and red shirt that’s barely buttoned. Most of his chest is showing, and his nipples can be seen through the thin material. He looks more like he’s carousing a club to pick up guys than downstairs to play a card game. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Remember, we’re there to woo Magnum, but also to be Dark’s wingman if asked. Repeat everything I say and do whatever I tell you. Understood?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good. Let’s go.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Xxoxx</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When Eric arrives downstairs Dark is already there. He’s surprised to find the man acting nervous. An anxious hand grips his cane. As shadowy eyes meet Eric’s, Dark calms slightly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good, you’re here early. I was wondering if I could ask you about our agreement.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Excellent, he’s playing along nicely.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sure. What’s up?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know it sounds like a terrible idea, but I wanted to ask you to-“</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ready to get yer asses kicked?” a booming voice says behind them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dark clams up quickly, gripping his cane. He forces a stoic look upon his face. Jumping, Eric turns to see Magnum coming toward them, Wilford in tow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In your dreams, big boy,” the mustachioed man banters back. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nervous yet again, Dark glances at Wilford. His vision fires to Eric, frustrated he never got the chance to explain his plan. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Don’t worry, I’ll figure something out. Dark will be putty in our hands in no time.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The idea doesn’t help Eric’s nerves. A romantic at heart, Eric doesn’t want to manipulate the man, he wants to help him. Even if he doesn’t have a possibility of romance with Magnum, Dark has a chance with Wilford. He's seen the way they are when they're together. Eric doesn't know much about their past, but he knows they're close. If anyone can get them together, it’s SQUIP. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum is already sitting down when Eric and Dark go to join him. Wilford has wandered off to whip them up a tray of drinks. SQUIP saunters beside Eric, telling him what to do. Eric pulls out a chair next to Magnum, motioning for Dark to sit. The man gives him a confused look but allows Eric to be a gentleman. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thank you, Eric,” comes Dark’s elegant voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re welcome.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He notices the look Magnum shoots him. A part of him likes the blatant jealousy. The other half is mortified that he’ll get the wrong idea. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sit across from Dark.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘But that means-'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Precisely. We’ll use Wilford’s jealousy against him. It’s sure to work. Do you trust me?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Yes.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good. Sit down.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric does as he’s told. The movement shocks the other two.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hands full, Wilford walks up, blinking hard as he notices where Eric’s sitting. His eyes narrow at the man. Before he can utter a word, Magnum speaks up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, lad? Yer supposed to sit across from me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m Dark’s partner tonight," replies Eric. "Right?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>An angry Dark is about to snap at him until something clicks in his mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes. That’s right. We’re partners.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even SQUIP is taken back by the choppy, uneven way the man speaks. Eric’s never seen the head of household look so uncomfortable. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilford lifts an eyebrow at the two of them before sitting down. He takes a long sip from his fresh martini, apparently knowing it was going to be a long evening. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, boys, I’ll deal first,” offers Wilford. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dark shoots a look at Eric as Wilford shuffles, clearly asking what the hell he’s up to. Eric hopes the ‘Trust me, I know what I’m doing’ is portrayed on his face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once the cards are dealt, Eric glances at his hand. He doesn’t have to pay attention, though. Eric trusts that SQUIP knows exactly what to do. He's let SQUIP have administrative permission. This way they both have control over his actions instantaneously. It’s almost like Eric’s along for the ride, but he can back out at any time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dark orders Wilford up, calling hearts as trump. Eric’s partner glances at him from across the table. The monochrome man takes a large swig from his brandy, unknowingly giving Eric his cue. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Show time.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Becoming one mostly shared being, SQUIP takes the reigns. It makes Eric run a finger down his exposed chest, biting his lip. Dark stares terrified at him before he understands what’s going on. Magnum glances at Eric’s chest, eyes wandering up to his lips. When he realizes who Eric’s looking at, the captain scowls. Wilford watches the display, distracted at first, then his face whips toward his old friend. Dark puts on the act, smiling slyly at Eric. His hand slowly stirs his drink, little plastic straw swirling around the glass.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Excellent, you have their attention. We'll play your Ace, then flirt with him some more.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric sets the card down deliberately, eyes never leaving Dark’s. Part of Eric loves this. Just because he doesn’t have feelings for the man doesn’t mean he isn’t having fun. He knows Dark is also aware it's just a ruse. Even though he's not in control he gets a taste of what it's like to be suave and confident. Plus, SQUIP was right. Flirting was intoxicating. He wishes one day he'd get to do this with the captain instead. If Magnum reciprocated he'd be on cloud nine. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They play the next round, Eric setting down another card. His eyes barely look at anything but Dark. The other men play their cards before Eric and SQUIP make their next move. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Dark glances at him, Eric takes the mini black straw in hand, tongue darting out to stroke over it. He wraps his lips around it then sucks off the alcohol. Eric pulls it out with an audible pop, lidded eyes boring into Dark.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The grey man takes a sip of his brandy, finishing it off. He tips it back, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows. Eric watches every movement with intense concentration. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other men glare between them, putrid jealousy filling the room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I should have made popcorn,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>SQUIP grins next to him and inside him simultaneously. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Keep going. We’re doing great.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They finish another round, Magnum and Wilford trying desperately to ignore the blatant flirting. It can’t be helped. Their plan is working. Both men are extremely jealous. Eric doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but if this worked, and Dark was happy, it would be worth it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s Dark’s turn to play, but he’s not paying attention to the game anymore. He’s pretending to be intoxicated by Eric’s presence. SQUIP notices an opportunity.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s your turn, gorgeous,” Eric hears himself purr, barely believing his own mouth said such a thing. Part of him wonders if he actually did speak, or if he was just becoming SQUIP’s puppet. Eric isn’t too fond of that. He doesn't want to become its plaything.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Pulling him from that thought, Dark plays a card. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sorry, my dear, you’ve gotten me distracted," purrs Dark, husky voice practically turning to sex. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell is happening between you two?” Wilford finally snaps, shooting up from the table. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looks like he wants to punch something. Eric hopes it's not him. Flinching, Eric stares at the mustachioed man. In his distressed state he accidentally takes control back from SQUIP. Wilford's cheeks are tinged as pink as his hair. Magnum looks like he’s wondering the same thing, also madly jealous of the blatant flirting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Play it off. Tell them nothing’s going on.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing-"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dark puts up a hand, stopping him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t be mad at Eric, we were in on this idea together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilford sits back against his chair, arms crossing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Idea? What idea?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Face set in a stoic, unreadable expression, Dark speaks. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“To have Eric flirt with me to see if you got jealous.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum’s eyes shoot to Eric, but the man doesn’t even notice. He’s enthralled by the conversation unfolding before him. Plus he's still nervous Wilford is going to tackle him. Eventually the captain looks at the other men as well, face scrunched in confusion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why the hell were you trying to make me jealous?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dark’s eyes flicker to the table before him. He still holds his cards, body a contrasting cold to the feelings Eric’s sure are roiling inside him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” Wilford utters with realization, uncrossing his arms. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His mouth opens to speak, but nothing comes out. He looks to Magnum then Eric, the world more bizarre than usual around him. Wilford’s head tips back, looking toward the ceiling, trying to speak again. He fails. Instead, he looks back to Dark who sits glitching blue at the table. Dark starts to buzz louder and louder as he becomes more and more uncomfortable in the silence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Say something, Will,” implores Dark. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why didn’t you just tell me? Why go to all the trouble?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dark doesn’t know how to answer that. SQUIP does. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Because he didn’t want to scare you away,” Eric hears himself say, his voice and SQUIP’s molding into one. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilford glances at him, then his attention turns back to Dark. Sighing, Dark puts his cards on the table, hands joining them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not necessarily,” corrects Dark. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Damien,” chides Wilford </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine. I was petrified. Are you satisfied?” Dark snaps at his friend, frustration apparent. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilford’s shocked expression slowly turns to a satisfied smile. His hand reaches out, fingers resting over Dark’s grey hand. The man looks down at it in shock. Mouth agape, Dark cautiously glances at Wilford. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you mind if we cut the game short tonight?” asks Wilford, turning toward them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum glances at Eric, barely catching up to whatever the hell has just happened. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Um. Sure." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No problem,” Eric confirms, heart full. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilford stands, offering a hand to Dark. Confused, Dark looks at the other two. They smile back at him, urging him on. Swallowing hard, Dark takes the other man’s hand. Blue glows around his grey body, giving him a happy yet cautious aura. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Wonderful job, Eric. Our plan was a complete success!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP beams next to him, finally looking happy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric overflows with pride. He can’t believe he did that. If it wasn’t for SQUIP he wouldn’t have been able to do any of it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Thank you.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re welcome.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That was nice of ye to help them,” a pleasant voice praises next to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A shocked Eric whips toward Magnum. The man is rewarding him with an impossibly smitten smile. Flowers basically bloom around him. Eric gulps, unable to do anything but stare longingly at his upturned lips.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It w- was nothing. I’d do anything for a friend.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good answer. He’s right where you want him.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric’s pretty sure that’s actually on top of him in bed, but this is definitely the next best thing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“In due time.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s good to know,” Magnum purrs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric doesn’t miss the intrigue in his expression, or the way his body leans toward him like a magnet. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would you like me to get you another drink?” offers Eric. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d better not,” Magnum admits, cutting off all Eric’s plans of getting alone time with him. “If ye keep showin’ me yer acting skills ye might talk me into goin' to bed with ye.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric’s pretty sure his brain explodes in his skull. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- I-” he starts before SQUIP stops his stuttering. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum seems pleased with the reaction. His lips wrap around the head of his beer bottle, tipping it back. Eric watches with intense concentration, thoughts turning dirty. The captain sets the empty on the table with a loud thunk. Eric feels his face heat. Amused, Magnum stands to leave while Eric yearns to follow.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Goodnight, gorgeous,” Magnum coos while he ambles away, repeating Eric’s earlier endearment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric and SQUIP both watch the man leave. The former practically salivates, the latter grinning with loosely crossed arms. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s as good as yours.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Xxoxx</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next few weeks Eric is in a constant high. He’s beginning to start conversations with the other egos, fear of rejection practically gone. SQUIP can fix any situation. All he has to do is sit back and obey. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Jim’s basically see him as one of their own now. He helps them with the boom mic when they have a scoop, then they relax by kicking back in the pool, or playing weird games the twins came up with. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bing loves to show him the skateboard tricks he’s learning. Sometimes Eric sits on the porch and watches the android like a proud parent. When he falls, Eric gives him confidence; when he succeeds, Eric cheers him on. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bim asks him to be a contestant of his game show, though Eric gracefully declines, figuring he’ll never come back home from it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilford and Dark are grateful to him, even if his tactics had been far from ordinary. Dark was a better actor than Eric realized. When he fills in at Euchre now he actually has a blast. Plus, he gets to flirt with Magnum all night instead. And the captain actually flirts back. It’s ecstasy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric confides in Google that his SQUIP is doing him wonders. The android is  that his plan was a success. </span>
</p>
<p><span>Standing in his room, Eric peers at himself, pleased with what he sees. He’s got nice abs and pecks now.</span> <span>He’s started sunbathing, so his normally pale body has tanned. He admires the view in his mirror. Eric’s actually proud of himself for the first time in years. </span></p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP stands behind him, lips curled into a smile. Eric sees his friend’s reflection in the mirror. It looks back at him fondly. A warm hand settles upon his shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Excellent job, Eric. You’re on your way. Plenty of men would be happy to have sex with you now.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric doesn’t want any man. He only wants one. But he appreciates the thought.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Only two more days until the party. Do you feel prepared?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric nods, turning toward SQUIP. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, but, I’m nervous.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Perfectly normal,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP explains with a wave of its hand. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“You’ll do great, kid.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric smiles at it. Sometimes Eric feels like they’ve become close friends. Either that or all the shock therapy is messing with his brain like the Milgram Experiment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Walking with an air of newfound confidence, Eric takes off to find Magnum. SQUIP keeps pace beside him, a constant ego booster. He finds the man recording in his journal, small reading glasses perched on his nose. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, do you wanna tell me some of your adventures?” offers Eric. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He feels the words reverberate in his throat, SQUIP’s voice mixed with his. Apparently no one else could hear it, but Eric was well aware. They were starting to become more of one shared being. If Eric wasn’t so thrilled at having friends, he’d be perturbed.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum glances up, lips curling into a mischievous smile. He turns several pages back, looking for something. When he does, he pats the couch cushion beside him, beckoning Eric over. Thrilled, the man settles next to him. Eric feels SQUIP’s presence inside him. It gives him confidence.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“’May twenty-sixth,’” Magnum reads; “’I found a merman washed upon the shore. His rainbow scales had caught me eye from several hundred feet away…’” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the captain recalls his tale, Eric starts to lean into him. Surprisingly, Magnum doesn’t stop him. He doesn’t push away. Instead, he presses into his warmth, reading like nothing was happening. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric sighs, eyes sliding closed. That husky voice washes over him, cleansing his battered soul. Eric can almost hear seagulls and crashing waves as he falls into the tale alongside his friend.  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one gets really intense, so be warned. Check the tags for a bit more info.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The summer sun has gone down on the expansive manor. Egos are strewn about the garden, holding drinks and talking amongst themselves. Eric watches his friends with immense satisfaction. It’s the first party he’s ever thrown. He’s invigorated that everyone actually showed up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Earlier in the day he had painstakingly checked the fireworks display. Growing up his family always had fireworks for every occasion. After being forced to help his dad set up all those years he's fairly confident he won't accidentally blow himself or anyone else up. Gladly they're on a timer, so he hopes that will help. Plus he's positioned them quite far away from the crowd. Now his biggest fear is that no one will like them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Have a couple drinks. Relax. You deserve it. I’ll only take over if you need help.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s glad SQUIP is trusting him to communicate with people now. Though he's not fully confident in himself, he has blind faith in SQUIP. Eric nurses a margarita while wandering around, chatting casually with the egos. SQUIP interjects once in a while but mostly lets him be. He’s had enough practice now of acting like someone else that it’s starting to come naturally. Fake it until you make it, he figures. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric starts his second margarita, alcohol swirling around his brain. His steps falter slightly in the grass. When he spots Magnum standing and talking to Doctor Iplier, Eric happily treks up to the two. With SQUIP at his beck and call he knows he can do anything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello,” Eric hums, confident not only from the alcohol. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both turn his way. Magnum’s holding a beer and looking quite inebriated while Doctor Iplier nurses a glass of wine. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hello, Eric," the doctor greets with tired eyes and a friendly smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric receives a different sort of look from Magnum. There's a raw heat behind it. Flames lick at Eric's body. The desperate man wants to jump into the fire and let it consume him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The captain’s sparkling eyes roam to the open buttons of Eric's shirt, drinking in the view. His crush is eyeing him up. Eric can't believe it. Seeing Magnum so blatantly staring at his chest gives Eric a shock down south. When Magnum licks his lips, Eric watches every millisecond like his life depends on it. His chest tightens until he can't breathe. Eric's entire body responds against his will. Everything seems to vibrate. Magnum is being so obvious it looks like he's about to take him out back and fuck his brains out. Eric would happily let him. He wants this man so badly it could be the death of him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Excellent. The pheromones are working,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>SQUIP explains beside him.</span>
  <em>
    <span> “His pupils are dilated. He’s very sexually interested in you right now. I wouldn't be surprised if he made a move tonight. You might not be a virgin for much longer.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every drop of blood leaves his limbs and goes straight to his pants. Knowing Magnum yearns for him too is so arousing. He can’t help his reactions. SQUIP won’t let him masturbate. His blue balls are becoming almost painful. Eric is so damn horny. He hasn’t jacked off in over a month. Everything is literally painful. His body yearns to get off. He swears it will only take a few seconds now. But every time he thinks about it SQUIP materializes beside him and chastises its human. Eric would brace for the eventual shock. Sometimes it came, sometimes it didn’t. Eric swears it’s some form of torture. The only gratification he’s allowed is conversing with his new friends and exercising. It’s excruciating, yet Eric accepts it. As long as the egos like him, Eric will do </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything</span>
  </em>
  <span>. It’s better than having to suffer through being himself. Eric doesn’t like the real him. This updated version SQUIP created is beloved by everyone, so it's worth the pain he puts himself through. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nice party,” the doctor admits, sipping his wine. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Thanks. Are you guys having fun?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aye. Are ye?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Relieved that everything is going smoothly, Eric nods. It was a lovely evening. The night was warm with a nice, refreshing breeze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilford was tending the bar between bouts of flirting with Dark. Meanwhile his new boyfriend was attempting to flirt back without blushing. Wilford made that very difficult. The man was not subtle. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Bing and Google were playfully arguing over something that Eric doesn't understand. He has a feeling Bing doesn't either. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The twins were currently annoying the hell out of the Host and Bim. They told Eric they would record the whole thing and send him the highlights later. The problem was the red light wasn't on on the camera, so there was no footage to be had. No one had cared enough to tell them, and neither the Jim's nor Eric had noticed. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone else he'd talked to had been enjoying themselves. It makes Eric feel good knowing his friends are content and relaxed. Eric just wishes he was as well. Now he’s too keyed up and desperate. He keeps thinking about sneaking away with Magnum. As the fireworks shoot off in the sky they'd be making their own. Eric's whole body thrums at the idea. Though he does have to admit the urgency of wanting to get laid gives him an extra edge, he </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> wants to get off. He's not sure how much longer he can stand it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s nice to kick back for a while,” Eric says sipping his margarita, as if he's actually relaxed with fantasies running rampant through his mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum is staring unabashed at him. Those intense mocha eyes bore into his skin and make a home there. His lips curl into a mischievous grin. Eric's heart skips. He adores that smile. Eric giggles nervously, shyly gripping at his shirt hem. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“D- don’t do that. You look like a, um, ya know. An idiot.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric stops breathing. His vision shoots to SQUIP who, if he didn’t know better, sounds tipsy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Did… did you just stutter?’  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yer actin’ more like yerself tonight” Magnum interrupts with lidded eyes. “I like it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric’s mouth goes dry. A desert trickles down his throat and suffocates him. Everything swirls like a storm around him. Sand pelting his face. He can't see straight. Magnum is hitting on him and SQUIP is standing at his side swaying with the breeze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘SQUIP, what does that mean? What's happening?’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Konnichiwa!” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric blinks hard, tense hand gripping his drink. The stem almost shatters glass shards into his palm. Somehow he manages not to break anything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘SQUIP?’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Sorry, Eric. High amounts of alcohol messes with my – bzzzz - processors. I’m going to shut myself off for a while. It can be dangerous if I don’t. I could become corrupted.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric shivers hard. He doesn’t want to think about that. SQUIP disappears, leaving him with a gaping hole in his chest. Fear starts to take back ahold. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mortified of being alone with his crush, Eric gapes at Magnum. What the hell is he supposed to say? The man is coming onto him. It’s all Eric's ever wanted. Now he’s riding solo. How is he supposed to talk to this man? He can’t do anything without SQUIP. Why had it never told him alcohol could be detrimental? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You l- like what?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You,” Magnum admits. His stance sways lightly, obviously quite drunk but getting there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“H- how so?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum doesn’t answer, he just smiles, inhibitions gone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Scared out of his mind, Eric's eyes dart around for help. But no one can. SQUIP is gone. He's all alone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric so desperately needs to change the conversation. He looks to the doctor for help, but the man is long gone. He spots him talking to Bim and Host several feet away. All of his panic is back. Without SQUIP he’s just a babbling, stuttering mess. Eric doesn’t like that version of himself. He likes the one with a voice in his head telling him everything was going to be okay. His own voice was a demonic, self-abusive bastard that sounds like his father. Eric hates that voice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chuckling nervously, Eric turns back toward Magnum, margarita shaking in his twitching hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Would- would you like to- to sit down?” offers Eric, needing to catch his breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d love ta.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two men walk back to the veranda. Every step is hell. They settle in metal garden chairs next to each other. It’s easier to talk without looking at the other man. His eyes are too distracting. Without SQUIP, Eric is a complete disaster.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’ve been actin’ weird lately,” starts Magnum. Eric already doesn’t like how this conversation is going. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I h- have?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum nods, tipping back his beer. Eric watches out of the corner of his eye, heart stammering against his ribs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“When I first got here ye always ran away when I tried talkin’ to ye. I thought maybe ye didn’t like me, or were scared o’ me, so I stopped tryin’. But when ye asked about me journals I thought ye were finally startin’ to open up. Then ye started acting strange again. Now every time ye talk to me yer tryin’ to act like someone else. Yer givin’ me whiplash, lad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric takes a courageous sip of his cocktail, arms and legs shaking. If SQUIP wasn’t going to help him then he wanted to black out before he had the chance to fuck everything up. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you wanna know th- the truth?” a quiet Eric offers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The captain turns to blearily look at him, much too sloshed. Eric’s not drunk enough for this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I swallowed a supercomputer a- and now it tells me what to do. But it’s not here right now, and I’m scared I’m gonna mess everything up. I- I didn’t want to turn into someone else, but I d- don’t really like myself, and I didn’t know how to talk to you all otherwise.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Glossy eyes wander over Eric’s face. Magnum puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes lightly. Eric stops breathing. Every nerve ending surges. All thoughts careen to the place they’re connected. Somehow his heart settles and convulses all at once. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ye know, I have no idea what yer talkin’ about. But ye don’t have to act like anyone else, lad. Just be yerself.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s easier said than done,” sighs Eric. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nervous yet hopeful, Eric glances over. Magnum’s eyes are large and exposed from the alcohol. The captain is blatantly staring at him. His expression is unreadable. Everything goes blurry around the other man as the alcohol floods Eric's brain. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Magnum?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hm?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you think someone c- could fall in love with me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP had told him once that he didn’t have a chance. That he was unlovable. He just wants to know. Is he really that unlovable? If Magnum confirms it, Eric will give up. He’ll take on sexual pursuits like SQUIP insisted and give up his romantic side. But if the captain says yes…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know it,” Magnum insists with a soft expression, wrinkles forming around his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric wants to know how he knows. Why he’s so sure. Emotions gnawing, a desperate Eric glances to Magnum’s lips. He’s much too drunk to be talking to this man right now. SQUIP isn’t there to stop him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wanting to kiss him so badly, Eric leans toward the captain. The other man watches him, drunk mind catching up slowly. When Eric’s lips almost meet his, there are suddenly two hands on his shoulders. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are ye doin’?” Magnum asks nervously. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Panic shoots through Eric’s core. Unfocused eyes dart around. Bim is looking at them with complete shock. He taps Wilford on the shoulder. The mustachioed man turns toward him. Freaking out, Eric’s attention snaps back to Magnum. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- I’m so sorry,” he stutters, standing up much too quickly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His prosthetic leg gets caught on the chair. Eric tips helplessly forward. His face slams the rocky ground as his body clatters against the stone. Some of the egos stare. A few glance between him and Magnum. With tears in his eyes Eric looks up. Wilford, Dark, Google, and Bim are glaring at him. They’re judging him. They hate him. He's just a hopelessly romantic dumbass who misread signals then fell flat on his face because his prosthetic got caught. He knows what they’re thinking. It's what everyone's always thought about him. Eric wasn’t worth their time. He knows it’s true. They want nothing to do with him. Why would they? He’s pathetic. That’s what SQUIP had called him once. It was right. Without SQUIP, Eric was a worthless mess. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric wants to stop existing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stuttering to himself, a desperate Eric scrambles to stand up. The captain tries to help the broken man. His eyes are soft and understanding, but Eric won’t look at him. He can’t. He'd just tried to kiss this man and he was fully rejected. Eric can’t blame him. Magnum could do so much better. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tears steak down his pink cheeks. He should have known better than to trust himself. Eric always fucked up everything he touched. Without SQUIP he was hopeless. He didn’t deserve his friends. They deserved so much more. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait, Eric, let me explain,” Magnum starts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I'm- I’m sorry, Magnum. Please forgive me,” the embarrassed man stutters out. Then he’s gone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Eric, wait!” Magnum calls after him, voice and soul pleading. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But Eric won’t come back. He ditches his own party early. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyperventilating, Eric shuts himself in his bedroom. He cries and rocks back and forth as fireworks blast outside of his window. Each one feels like a gunshot. They pierce his flesh, heart bleeding inside him. With every loud bang he jumps. Like a nightmare, Eric keeps seeing Magnum’s shocked expression in his mind. His head twirls around, morphing with disgust and hatred. The sight will always haunt him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric pleads for his friend to come back, but SQUIP is nowhere to be found. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Groaning, Eric curls into a tight ball. Hands cup over his ears. Every blast of a firework makes him jump from his skin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s all alone. Eric’s fucked up everything as usual. This time was nothing new. His fingers itch to hurt himself; to punish his stupidity the way his father used to. Everything aches so badly he can hardly stand it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s not looking forward to when SQUIP comes back. It was not going to be happy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric wants to die. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Xxoxx </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“What. The. Fuck. Did. You. Do?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP’s freezing cold voice stabs through Eric’s brain. It reverberates down his shaking body. He even feels it go through his phantom limbs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A shivering Eric stands in the kitchen, holding a gallon of milk. He wasn’t expecting SQUIP’s voice. It had been gone all night and well into the morning. Eric’s shaking hand pauses while pouring milk into his cereal. It starts to overflow. Eric doesn’t notice. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I tried to kiss him.’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Why the hell would you do that?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Chest convulsing, Eric gulps away a sob. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I- I don’t know. It- it just felt right.’</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I thought I told you you didn’t have a chance with Magnum yet. Why did you pursue him while I wasn’t there?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Because I like him!’ Eric screams within the confines of his mind. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It echoes painfully. Eric puts a hand to his temples. His skull feels like it’s cracked open. All the alcohol and electricity leaves him with a constant migraine. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Because, when he smiles at me, it makes me want to make him grin. O- or when I make him laugh, I want to make him laugh harder. I can’t help it. I think I’m in love with him.’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP sighs angrily in front of him. It shakes its head slowly, fists clenched at its sides. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re impossible to satisfy, do you know that?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Why weren’t you there to stop me?’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP shocks him. Eric stands there and takes it. A part of him wants the punishment. Maybe it’ll make him feel better. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re hopeless, Eric. I leave you alone for </span>
  </em>
  <span>one</span>
  <em>
    <span> night and you destroy everything I worked so hard to accomplish! You’re pathetic.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric tries to ignore it, cleaning up the mess of milk he’s made with a paper towel. He goes to throw the wet paper away, SQUIP hot on his tail. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re a whiney, annoying little prick. It’s impossible. I can’t help you anymore. You've ruined everything. No one likes you. You’d be better off killing yourself.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thoughts glitching, Eric stops dead in his tracks, the words shocking him in a new way. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘W- what?’ </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I know you’ve always wanted to. You wanted to last night. Now’s your chance. Do it in front of everyone. Make them suffer. Let them know they’re the ones who did this to you. They pushed you over the edge.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘I-'</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“I’ve never liked you, Eric. You’ve always made my life miserable. I want to die just from being around you. I don't know how you've lasted without me all these years. Just do it already. Then we can both be free. You won’t hurt anyone anymore.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘But-' </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Look, Magnum isn't at all interested now. He thinks you’re a freak. Everyone saw you try to kiss him. They don’t want you here anymore. No one likes you. They’ve avoided you all morning. Nobody came to console you last night. They’ve sided with Magnum. You’re nothing to them now.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP shocks him again, even though Eric hadn’t said anything. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Go join your family in the afterlife. You’d be better off.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Anger boiling, Eric can't take it anymore. No one talks about his family like that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up!” he screams out loud. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Weary eyes slam painfully tight. He grips the countertop, breathing hard.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“My primary function is to help you, but you’ve made it impossible. I can’t help you anymore. You’ve fucked everything up.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop!” Eric yells, every voice in his head screaming back at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>All his bad thoughts heckle and poke and prod. Sobbing, Eric grips his head. Fingernails dig painfully into his skull. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do it, Eric. You can’t deny that you want to. I can read your thoughts.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hating himself and the bastard inside his mind, Eric’s eyes fling open. He grabs a handle from the knife block and spins around toward SQUIP. The entity stands there shocked. Then its face morphs into a dark scowl. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Really? What are you going to do? Kill me? I’m inside your mind, Eric. The only way to get rid of me is to kill yourself.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric takes a deep breath and puts the cold steel blade against his wrist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- I can’t take it anymore,” he sobs aloud. “I know I’m worthless without you. Stop telling me. I'll- I’ll do it, j- just leave me alone!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>SQUIP grins at him, then moves to his side. It looks in the direction Eric’s facing, letting the suicidal man’s gaze fall upon the other egos.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell are you doing?” a horrified Dark demands, standing from his seat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jesus Christ,” Wilford breathes, knocking over his chair as he gets up.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Host suddenly starts muttering under his breath. No one hears him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Every eye falls to Eric. He hates it. No one should see him like this. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A few feet in front of him is a terrified Magnum. Eric sobs, blade pressing into his flesh. He doesn’t want the man to see him like this. He doesn’t want </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> to see him. Eric just wants to disappear. They would be better off without him. SQUIP was right. He was nothing without the pill. The egos liked SQUIP’s version of him, not the real Eric. He has no reason to live. </span>
</p>
<p><em><span>“They’re all staring at you, freak.</span></em> <em><span>No one loves you. They’re scared of you.” </span></em></p>
<p>
  <span>Eric knows it’s right. They just don’t want to clean up the mess he’s about to make. His hand itches to cut open the veins and capillaries; to see his life drip upon the floor until it’s all gone.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do it. Slit your wrist. End it all. End </span>
  </em>
  <span>me</span>
  <em>
    <span>.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sobbing, Eric pushes the sharp blade into his wrist. A drop of blood appears on his tan skin. Magnum stands slowly, advancing on him. Scared he’ll stop him, Eric points the knife at Magnum. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“G- get back!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Stuttering to a halt, Magnum defensively puts his hands up. Eric hates the fear in those concerned caramel eyes. His thoughts stutter. The knife vibrates in his hands. Eric’s pupils are wide with fear, darting to each of the egos. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Easy lad. Give me the knife. Ye don’t have to do this. We can help ye.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tears bleat his eyes. He doesn’t want to hurt Magnum. Far from it. If he continues to live, SQUIP will force him to say and do terrible things. He’ll hurt them all. Eric can’t handle that guilt. He pushes the blade against his wrist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dark and Wilford stand there horrified. Bing is motionless as he glitches out. Host is still muttering under his breath. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Eric, please, don't do this,” Dark pleads. His usually cold eyes are warm in a way that makes Eric choke. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Talk to us, Eric,” Wilford starts. “What's going on?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilford takes a step toward him, hands up like he’s trying not to spook the scared animal. Eric’s hand shakes, knife quaking against his flesh.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Give me the knife, Eric,” Magnum orders. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The captain isn't backing down. Eric doesn't want them to see him like this. He can’t stand them knowing the real him. The one he’s tried so desperately to get rid of. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do it,”</span>
  </em>
  <span> SQUIP coos. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“Or I’ll make you kill them.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Hyperventilating, Eric’s eyes snap around the room. He looks like a tweaker who’s done too much coke. A grinning SQUIP stalks closer. Freezing eyes bore into his soul. Its hand settles upon the knife as a frigid voice screams inside his skull.   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Do it you fucking coward!” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric obeys one last time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He slits his wrist, pain hot and sharp. Warm blood streams down his arm. Eric stares at the red liquid seeping from the deep wound. It fascinates him. It terrifies him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Mind far away, Eric holds the bloody knife in front of his face. He can’t believe what he’s just done. Breathing shallow, Eric watches as the blood runs down the blade, his reflection shining back at him. He doesn’t recognize himself. His eyes are blue. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dark is glitching all over the place, silently screaming, flashing red and blue. Wilford stands beside him, mouth agape, then he rushes off to get the doctor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Good boy,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>SQUIP purrs in his ear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Its absent breath tickles. Eric knows he's about to pass out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Seeing his opening, Magnum surges forward and grabs the man. Eric grunts as he's pulled into a suffocating death grip, knife clanging to the tile floor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Please," a broken Eric whimpers. "Let me go. I want to die!" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The captain drags him to a chair, pushes into him so he can’t leave, and grabs his bandana. The man quickly wraps it tightly around his wrist to stop what bleeding he can. The yellow cloth eagerly drinks up Eric’s gushing blood, turning it orange. Woozy, Eric watches his lifeforce drain away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"God dammit, Eric, what were ye thinking? Who the hell were ye yelling at?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There's no real anger in Magnum’s voice, just shock and a terrible, aching sadness. Eric weeps uncontrollably as a dam bursts open. It hurts. And there's blood everywhere. It’s soaking through Magnum’s bandana. His soul aches to transcend. He just wants to bleed out and have this ordeal be over. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"N- no one likes me anyway. Just let me go. I want to see m- my family again." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gulping hard, Magnum falters. He grips Eric to his chest, trying desperately to protect him from himself. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Not yet yer not. I won’t let ye die on us. Stay with me, Eric.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric looks at SQUIP, everything blurry and uncertain around it. SQUIP’s body starts becoming translucent.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>"Can't even kill yourself properly, can you?" </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fuck you,” the fading man utters, mind woozy from the blood loss. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric passes out in Magnum’s arms, everyone screaming his name as the world turns to darkness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Don't hurt me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well, here's the last chapter. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Nightmares force Eric to jolt awake. All night he had been plagued by traumatizing dreams. He had heard his father screaming at him for being a fuck up. His mother had given him a disappointed stare and left him behind once more. All of his brother's bodies had been strewn upon the rocks as the bus that carried them burst into flames. He'd even dreamt he tried to kill himself. SQUIP had forced him to do it. Knowing they were all just nightmares doesn't help at all. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric wheezes, body shivering in the uncomfortable bed. There's cold sweat on his brow. Clothes stick uncomfortably to his skin. His body is weighed down like it competed in a triathlon. Everything is hazy around him. His heart still stammers with fear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sore and exasperated he tries to get up, but a strong hand holds him down. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Easy there, lad,” Magnum’s hurt voice rings out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric’s eyes shoot open. Seeing the captain sitting by his bedside almost gives him a heart attack. Terrified eyes dart around. He’s not in his bedroom. He's not even in the manor at all. It’s a hospital room. Eric looks down in horror, praying he doesn't see what he fears is there. The world spins with what he sees. His wrist is bandaged. Bile forces its way into his throat. So, it wasn’t a dream. He’d tried to commit suicide. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His brain surges. Inside his soul feels cold and empty. But somehow he’s alive. Eric’s not sure how to feel about that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Vision slowly becoming normal he glances around the bright, sterile room. Doctor Iplier, Dark, Wilford, and Magnum are gathered around him. His old friends are all at his side. They're watching him with concern. Somehow after everything they still care. Emotions becoming too powerful to contain, Eric begins to cry. He tries not to show so much weakness. It's no use. Tears slide down his cheeks, falling upon his bare chest. The captain grabs a new handkerchief and dabs at his face. Eric makes a choked noise, eyes closing painfully as he remembers what he had done. How this man had held him as he passed out in his arms. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I know your little secret, Eric," The doctor begins, soft voice filled with sadness. "Google told me everything when he’d found out what you’d done. Why didn't you tell me? We could have helped you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric feels like shit already. SQUIP is nowhere to be seen, so it must just be his own emotions causing this debilitating emptiness. He never should have swallowed that damn pill. Eric would have been better off if no one had ever cared about him. He could have offed himself in silence like he’d always planned. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I..." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn't have the strength to finish that sentence. Without SQUIP he’s not sure what to say anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why is my mind so fuzzy?” he mutters out loud without realizing it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We had to administer Electroshock therapy to try to fix you." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric jolts, vision whipping around the room. All of the men suddenly look disappointed in him. He knows what that look means. Their hatred is just like his father’s. They’ve realized his secret, the doctor said. Hyperventilating and not thinking clearly from the blood loss and pain killers, Eric starts to rip at his hair. Magnum grabs his hands and won't let Eric hurt himself further. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I- I'm sorry I'm gay. Please, j- just don't shock me anymore. It hurts so much. If- if you hate me for it please just kill me. I can't do this anymore.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The doctor stands mortified. Dark glitches blue beside him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Eric, I... I wouldn't-" Doctor Iplier starts. “No, it's because of your SQUIP. We can't do brain surgery without the possibility of permanently damaging you. Electroshock therapy is our only viable option. I would never administer such a thing for that reason. That'd be pretty hypocritical of me."  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sniffling, Eric glances sheepishly at the other men. He feels so damn stupid. His eyes settle upon Magnum last, afraid of his reaction the most. The captain scrubs a worried hand over his face, confusion pulling at his skin. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"People try to do that? Get rid of homosexuality?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Doctor Iplier sighs sadly and nods at him. The large man starts seething. Dark has an expression that Eric doesn’t like. As though he knows all too well how history has treated people like them.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Is that why you got whatever that thing was?" Dark asks, hand turning white as he painfully grips his cane. It almost snaps. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I ju- just wanted people to like me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Dark surges angrily from his admittance. Eric can’t take it. He whines low, non-injured hand covering his face. His fear forces Dark to calm down and speak in his usual dapper manner. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We already liked you, Eric. Did you think we didn't?”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Curling in on himself, Eric nods. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Frowning, Wilford puts a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Eric, you're one of us. It's not worth being someone you're not. You're the only you there is.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ye can't be replaced," chimes in Magnum. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Scared that this isn’t all real and he actually is dead, Eric gapes at them.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No one had ever said anything so nice to him before. He's afraid it took a suicide attempt to let him see this; that his friends actually liked him for who he was. That SQUIP wasn’t the reason they wanted to spend time with him. He was. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cautiously, Magnum puts a gentle hand on his. Eric’s heartbeat goes up exponentially. It slams against his ribcage. The heart monitor he's connected to starts beeping faster, alerting everyone in the room to his feelings. The surprised captain looks at it and then back to Eric in askance. Eric wants to pull a sheet over his head and hide. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"May I ask ye a question?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blushing and mortified, Eric nods. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Do ye have feelings for me? Or was that the thing inside yer head too?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not wanting to have this conversation right now, Eric looks away. He stares at the IV in his other hand. It hurts. And it's so very intrusive. Eric always hated those damn things. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not daring to face his crush, Eric watches the scratchy blue blanket covering his body. It’s now or never. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I do like you," he sighs out, unable to see the expression in Magnum's eyes." I'm… I’m sorry.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The large man takes in a deep breath. His hand is still holding Eric’s like he'll float away otherwise. It’s a nice feeling. His touch grounds him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is that why ye asked if I’d seen someone that day when ye asked about me journal? Was it there with us?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. It, well, it was standing next to you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum’s hand instinctually squeezes his. Eric appreciates the protectiveness. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Did ye use that magic thing to try to impress me? Is that why ye weren’t actin’ like yerself? Did ye think I wouldn’t like ye if ye weren’t someone else?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric flinches, tears cold in his eyes. He hates that Magnum can see right through him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes," his meek voice admits. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The captain doesn't move or speak for a long time. Eventually Eric hesitantly looks his way. He wants to grab another knife when he sees Magnum has tears welling in those kind eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No, please d- don't cry! I'm- I'm so sorry." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sighing sadly, Magnum pats his hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Eric, you're a great lad, but-" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric knows he's going to reject him. He won't blame the man. Not a bit. This was the worst possible decision on his part. The situation was too strained for a confession. There was only one possibility. He was going to let him down easy. Magnum was never interested in that way. SQUIP had been right. Eric braces himself for the inevitable rejection. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"-But ye never should’ve put that thing in ye. I liked the person ye were before. We all did." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric isn't expecting that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You- you did?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Giving him a pained smile, Magnum nods. Eric peers at the other men in the room, not believing his ears. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"We knew something was off,” Wilford interjects. “I figured you were just going through something and were trying to act tough. I didn't know you were in pain. I'm sorry.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Wilford pats Eric’s arm, face scrunched like he isn't used to acting sincere. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I should have detected an outside force,” admits Dark, angry with himself. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That's okay. Thank you all for, ya know, n- not hating me."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric relaxes at his friends’ understanding though anguished smiles. The energy in the room changes from strained fear to adoration. The friendship surrounding Eric starts lulling him to sleep. All he wants is to pass out and forget about everything for a while. The doctor sees his exhaustion and tries pushing the other egos out the door. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Alright, everyone out. Eric needs his rest.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two older egos go to leave without a fuss. Magnum refuses to budge. He glares at the doctor menacingly, daring him to try kicking him out. The ever-suffering doctor looks at the pirate and sighs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fine. I’ll give you five minutes alone, but then he needs his rest. Okay?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both silently agree. As Dark opens the door Eric spies Bing and the Jim twins on the other side. When their eyes meet Bing and the reporter wave at him while the cameraman smiles faintly. Their expressions soften with relief that their friend is miraculously still alive. With little energy left, Eric attempts a wave and smile, though it looks more like an embellished wince. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once the other three are outside the door, Magnum looks at him with an impossibly sad frown. His caring eyes still glisten with unspilled tears. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Are ye alright? Can I trust ye not to hurt yerself again? Or do I have to stay here tonight? Because I will." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric shakes his head. That sounded lovely, but no. Magnum doesn’t deserve that. The man barely fit in the little metal chair he was in as it was. If he had to sleep in it, Eric would feel terrible. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"That's okay. I'll be alright." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum raises an eyebrow. Obviously he doesn't believe him. Eric can't blame him. He doesn't believe himself either. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"So, ye like me, huh?" Magnum says after a while. He gives him a smile, however strained. Eric’s heart stammers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm sorry. I know you're not interested. A- and I’m sorry I tried to kiss you. I just- I just couldn't help it." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum stares at the hospital bed with a disheartened frown. Sighing, Magnum chances a glance at Eric. He rubs Eric’s hand until the broken man looks sheepishly back at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Eric, I like ye too." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Blinking hard, Eric just stares. The shock therapy must have messed with his hearing.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Wait, you- you do?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sad but hopeful, Magnum nods. Eric feels a rush of something course through him. For once it isn’t electricity. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"But I don't want to pursue anything right now. Yer vulnerable and I don't wanna take advantage of ye." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I-" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not budging, the captain shakes his head. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I mean it, Eric. ‘Tis important. We need to get ye feelin’ better first. If ye need anything, I'll help ye through it. If it escalates to anything more than friendship after that, I won't stop it. But yer not in the right place. And if I'm bein' honest I'm not ready for anything right now either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum hesitates, then extends his other hand. He gingerly takes Eric’s hand in his, careful of the IV. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Friends?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric let's out a long-suffering sigh. He'll take it. He'll adore anything Magnum’s willing to give. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Friends,” Eric agrees. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The empty man can’t believe it. Friends. He still has friends. After everything that's happened he isn't alone. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Xxoxx </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The next few months are rough. SQUIP never comes back. Eric doesn’t want it to. Google apologies and tells him his must have been defective. It was just Eric’s luck. Sometimes he swears he hears its voice calling his name. Or he’ll feel a phantom shock to his brain and double over in sobs. One of the egos would console him if they noticed. They would try to calm him down then distract him if they could. Bing would show him memes or skateboarding videos. Dark would read to him with his smooth, languid voice. The twins would take him out of the house for a while to clear his head. Wilford wasn’t good at showing affection, so he would often just pat his back and talk about his day. Magnum would hold him close and let him cry it out until the tears wouldn’t come. If he was alone, Eric would weep until he had nothing left.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As promised, whenever Eric had an especially bad thought or wanted to hurt himself again, he would find Magnum. The man would hold his hand and sit with him as Eric would explain his insecurities, thoughts, fears; whatever ailed him. Usually Magnum would simply listen, interjecting with wisdom when need be. Other times he would share his own wants, fears, and doubts. It was difficult but Eric knows it was necessary. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sometimes they would cover up with blankets and Magnum would read passages from his journal. Usually they were about his dangerous adventures. Sometimes they recalled an instance with Eric. He had read his thoughts about Eric from when they first met months prior. How he thought he was a sweet, handsome young man that he wanted to get to know. When Eric touched his thigh and Magnum had to stop himself from progressing things further, even though he wanted to. How bizarre Eric had been acting. How whiplashed and confused he had the man every time they interacted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They’re having one of those talks now, sitting side by side in the living room. Their bodies press together, reveling in the warmth and security of each other. A setting sun shines orange through the window.  Magnum has his journal open, about to read a passage. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“’July fourth,’” he starts cautiously, voice strained. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric becomes rigid next to him. Independence Day. That had been one of the hardest days of his life. The captain puts a protective arm around him, knowing this was going to be hard. Regardless, Magnum continues. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“’I’m still a little drunk writing this, but I had to get me thoughts down on paper. Eric tried to kiss me tonight. I wanted to let him, but he looked so nervous, and we’d both been drinking. I didn’t want our first kiss to happen like that. I want to go to his room and apologize, but I can wait until morning. Maybe he’ll feel better by then. How do I explain to him that I wasn’t trying to reject him? He probably hates me now. When he left some of the men asked me what happened. I told them not to bring it up or bother him, in case it spooked him. Now I just need the courage to tell him how I feel. I’ll try to tell him tomorrow.’” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum stops reading. The captain painfully clears his throat and closes the journal. Eric can’t believe his ears. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to ye sooner. If I had maybe ye wouldn’t have done it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric winces at his words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t feel guilty. It- it’s not your fault.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t help it," starts Magnum, angry with himself. "I want to protect ye, Eric, not hurt ye. I should’ve known better. I should’ve seen ye were hurting.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“SQUIP told me I had to, o- or else it was going to make me hurt you all. I- I didn’t have a choice.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Conflicted, Magnum watches him, seeing if he’s lying for the sake of his feelings. Deeming it the truth, Magnum sighs. He pulls Eric tighter against him, wanting to shield him from the terrors of the world. Eric nuzzles into his chest and lets everything else dissolve around them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m glad the bastard’s gone. Ye didn’t deserve that.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Th- thank you. I am too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two men sit in silence for a while. Pain and guilt that swirls around them eventually calms from a hurricane to a storm. Eric leans against Magnum while contemplating over his next words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, y- you did want to kiss me that night?” musters Eric after a moment. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum nods, slowly feeling better. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I still do,” the captain admits. “Among other things.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum’s fingertips brush against his neck. Eric’s eyelids flicker closed. The touch is much too soft. It melts Eric into him. Magnum lets him relax against his chest, using him as a human pillow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d like to do things w- with you too,” confesses Eric, cheeks tinged. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The captain becomes rigid against him. Scared he’s said something wrong, Eric sits straight up. Magnum glances over at him, intentions obvious. The want in his eyes gives Eric some strength. He’s been wanting to talk about sex with him, but it’s a horrifying topic. Magnum is far from bashful. About ninety percent of his conversations would turn flirtatious or suggestive, while Eric would blush pink. Now it’s his turn to fluster the other. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Can I tell you something?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sure." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It- it wouldn't let me masturbate,” Eric admits.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum raises an eyebrow. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"All those weeks and it wouldn’t let ye get off?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric nods, face red, yet he marches on. He hates talking about SQUIP, but knows it’s better this way. Living without telling a soul is what got him tangled into this mess in the first place. He’s learning to trust his friends with his problems now, not keeping them bottled up in his mind anymore. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It was awful. I think it was a- a tactic to wear me down.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sounds terrible. Have ye done it since?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Y- yeah," Eric whispers, remembering every little detail. How his body had reacted. Who he thought about. How quickly he had come. It's embarrassing but Magnum isn't one to judge, so Eric isn't as nervous as he figures he should be. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum gives him a cheeky grin, eyes lidded. He leans down, face so close Eric can feel his breath. Eric's eyes are starstruck as he watches Magnum survey his reactions. He's captivated. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"How did it feel?" Magnum breathes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gulping, fingers play nervously with the blanket covering them. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Explosive," Eric mutters. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum hums, fingertips lightly stroking Eric’s shoulder.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Sounds fun." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It- it was." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric swears he's about to explode right now. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Did ye think of me?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I- I-" Eric stutters.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum can't help but chuckle. He kisses Eric's rosy cheek. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Good boy." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric gulps at the praise, loving it so much more when Magnum calls him that. His voice had a sincere fondness SQUIP never had. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Do ye want the real thing?" </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric can’t help himself. His mouth fills with sand, so he nods instead. The captain starts to stroke his palm. Eric shivers. Fingertips move up his arm, over his wrist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum suddenly freezes. Eric tenses, wondering what's wrong. Then he feels it. His fingers had stopped over the raised scar; where the knife had sliced open Eric's flesh. They both snap to the memory, shivering hard. Eric’s still not sure if he’s actually the one who did it or if SQUIP had forced his hand. Sometimes he could still see his eyes glowing blue reflecting in that knife blade. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum lets go. Eric hates the loss of contact. The captain adjusts the blanket over their lap and pulls Eric in for a sideways hug instead. Gentle lips press to his hair. Soaking in the feeling, Eric breathes in deep. The captain smells surprising good, like firewood mixed with an ocean breeze. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Another time." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Do you promise?" Eric rushes out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He has to ask. Eric knows he’s still very vulnerable, but this is what he’s always wanted. Craving affection from this man is why Eric got a SQUIP in the first place. All he wants is to be loved. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum hesitates before lifting Eric’s hand. He pulls it toward his lips and carefully kisses the raised scar. Eric gasps, wound pulsing like a phantom pain. Though it doesn’t actually hurt, his soul is still anguished. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Magnum surveys his expression before leaning down. Curious eyes glance at Eric’s lips, then back into his eyes in a silent askance. Heart pounding, Eric licks his lips. Smiling, Magnum comes ever closer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eyes flutter closed as Eric feels Magnum’s soft lips press against his. Bursting with affection, Eric happily kisses him back. There’s a heat in his kiss that warms Eric’s entire being. There are sparks, but this time they’re wonderfully delightful. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When they disconnect Magnum kisses his forehead, shushing all the fears inside away momentarily. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I promise." </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eric relaxes exponentially. He holds Magnum close, never wanting to let go. His affections make his days worth it. Before he had no one. He was a lonely, scared, sad mess of a man. Now he had his friends and Magnum at his side. If he needed anything they would always be there lending an ear, or a shoulder to lean on. They cared about him and his well-being. Sometimes Eric can't fathom how he got so lucky. Yet he's extremely grateful. Though he had gone through hell and back, he has something to fight for. Eric finally wants to live. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you liked my story. It was a lot of fun writing for SQUIP. BMC is one of my favorite things. I took inspiration from the book (which is pretty good btw and has a lot of good moments; I do mostly recommend it) as well as the musical. Eric is so much like Jeremy, so I had to write an AU.<br/>Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you thought in the comments. :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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